Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...
Ohio - noun - The ultimate in suck. When something, someone, or somewhere sucks so much that you can't think of a word strong enough to define the magnitude of suck, then it becomes Ohio. The term stems from the endless bevy of suck that comes out of Ohio. People like "comedian" Drew Carey, General George Custer, and author Zane Grey all in fact have sucked at their professions and life in general. Cleveland sucks. Cincinnati sucks. The sports all really suck. Especially Ohio State. Why? Because Ohio State sucks. Therefore, ipso facto, and ergo, Ohio is the suckiest suck that's ever sucked.
Hey, did you check out that performance by the Bengals against the Jets? Man, that was Ohio.
Dude, did you see Joe pissed in his bed last night? He's so Ohio.
We should go on a vacation to anywhere but Ohio. Ohio is Ohio, for real.
People assume that time is a strict progression of cause and effect, but actually from a non-linear non-subjective viewpoint it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey...stuff.