Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: formerly PRR milepost 322
Member Number: 1911
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Re: Steelers: The movie
Originally Posted by siss
Oh Hollywood likes a feel good story. So Ben would start out as the troubled playboy athlete who gets in trouble (but deep down has a heart of gold) in Georgia and is suspended. The first 10 minutes of the movie covers everything in Georgia and him getting suspended including the media lynching. The next hour covers how he changes his life, meets the future mrs and bonds with his teammates to have them come together in training camp. The last 1.5 covers the season (including the fines, the injuries etc) the super bowl and the ultimate understanding that even though they didn't win the big game, they gained so much more.
It'll win an oscar!
if this was to be televised on Lifetime
, or another short-haired, flat-shoed / women's network, the story-line would be something like this
Roethlisberger is a schmuck, and like most men, he always has-been, having his first sexual encounter at age 13, when he was seduced by his 7th grade female math teacher, her third such offense against young boys:
despite the teacher admitting that she propositioned him, Roethlisberger is kicked-off his Little League team when he fails to sign his-own name onto his-own baseball glove
< fast-forward 15 years, to the curent court proceedings against Roethlisberger >
under cross-examination, Ms DTF changes her story several times, and although her council advises her against it, she winks & requests a 'private-meeting in the Judge's Chambers', with the judge, played by Michael Nouri of 'Flashdance' fame
she also asks that the Judge 'station his baliffs outside the Chamber's door, for privac... er... protection...'
once in the Judge's Chambers, a sobbing Ms. DTF explains about her troubled childhood and growing-up in an above-middle-class home, not having her-own TV until she was 14, then, in intimate detail, repeatedly shows the Judge how the encounter went-down, complaining about Roethlisberger's performance, and then shows the Judge the various acts that Roethlisberger WOULDN'T engage in with her, involving a trombone, jumper-cables, and a chicken
after sharing a cigarette and a shower, the pair return to the court-room, where the Judge calls court to order, finds Roethlisberger guilty, sentences him to hang, then awards Ms. DTF 1/5 ownership of the Steeler franchise:
realizing they are wearing each-other's underwear during the sentencing process, Ms. DTF and the Judge decide to get-married, with Ms. Goodell (wearing a Cheatriot jersey) acting as maid-of-honor upon returning from the Super Bowl, played in Paris
in the flick's final scene, the Judge & Ms. DTF consumate their marriage that evening on top of Roethlisberger's grave, complete with trombone, jumper-cables, and a chicken, as Kenny G plays a saxaphone in the distance:
Ms. Goodell hides behind the tombstone, secretly watching to make-sure the newlyweds don't bump-heads while engaged in the throes of passion, less they be fined $50,000
< THE END >