Pittsburgh Steelers at Arizona Cardinals
I donít know what a trap game is, otherwise Iíd be worried. Can we have Wisenhunt back now? Steelers 27 Ė 23. Memories.
Washington Redskins at Carolina Panthers
Fosterís = German for Beer; Beck = German for uh-oh. Panthers by 1.
Denver Broncos at Miami Mahi Mahi
Horses make me mad, but they have tasty poo. Mahi Mahi tastes good, too. Fish by 10.
San Diego Norv Turners at New York Rex Ryans
Oneís the Biggest Loser and the otherís Norv Turner. Advantage Jets, but not in the regular season. Norvís regular season champs by 6.
Chicago Bears vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers at London
In honor of the Queen I renamed the teams: Chicago Bulldogs vs. the Tampa Bay Bad Teeth. Bad Teeth by 4.
Atlanta Falcons at Detroit Lions
Donkey Kong Suh will be mad after last week. Pray for Matt Ryan. Lions by 10.
Seattle Seahawks at Cleveland Browns
Pete Carrollís hair looks like a squirrelís tail. I hate squirrels. Cleveland-team-named-after-a-person-named-after-a-color by 7.
Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans
Remember the Alamo? Neither do I, but I remember all the Texansí injuries. Titans by 3.
Kansas City Chiefs at Oakland Raiders
Dear Todd Haley: Thank you for keeping our seat warm last year. Sincerely, The Chargers. Raiders by 14.
Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings
What the Hellís a Ponder? At this point, about half a McNabb. Packers by 25.
St. Louis Rams at Dallas Cowboys
The Cowboys make me hate them because theyíre from Texas. So Iíll pick the Rams.
Indianapolis Colts at New Orleans Saints
Manning is selfish. He took his whole team with him when he left. Saints by 21.
Baltimore Ravens at Jacksonville Jaguars
Cats and birds! Iíll bring the barbeque sauce. So will T-Sizzle. Ravens by 14.