Baltimore Cravens at Pittsburgh Steelers
It doesn’t matter who the Steelers start at linebacker this week – they could start Justin Bieber – the Ravens are in for an ugly whuppin’. Steelers by 20.
Green Bay Packers at San Diego Chargers
It’s not all Norv’s fault. Just most of it. Packers by 10.
Seattle Seahawks at Dallas Cowboys
A schedule gift prevents the Cowboys from a total implosion. Jerry Jones would smile if his facelift would let him. Cowboys by 14.
New York Jets at Buffalo Bills
It’ll be blustery, loud and roaring, and that’s just Rex Ryan. Bills by 5.
New York Giants at New England Patriots
Patriots are licking their wounds. Honey Badger Coughlin don’t care. G-Men by 7.
Miami Mahi Mahi at Kansas City Chiefs
Dear Mr. Haley. I’m sorry about all those nasty things I said about you earlier. Unlike your franchise, you might be slightly better than mediocre. Chiefs by 3.
Atlanta Falcons at Indianapolis Colts
This isn’t even funny. The Colts need to go back to clown college. Falcons by 14.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at New Orleans Saints
Tampa Bay is Florida’s Branson. Saints by 10.
Cleveland Browns at Houston Texans
Colt McCoy chooses to live in Cleveland over Texas. What does that tell you about Texas? Texans by 10.
San Francisco Forty-Niners at Washington Redskins
I’m against all Harbaugh’s this week. Shanahan’s boys with the upset.
Cincinnati Bengals at Tennessee Titans
Cats are tasty and squeak when I eat them. They’ll probably win this week, but they’re still stupid.
Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders
One has a horrible quarterback. The other has Tebow. Advantage Raiders.
St. Louis Rams at Arizona Cardinals
Bill Bidwell took the Cardinals to Arizona. Kurt Warner left the Rams for Arizona. The St. Louis Arch is next, better bolt it down. Cardinals by 10.
Chicago Bears at Philadelphia Eagles
I shared a kennel at the Washington Area Rescue League with some of Mike Vick’s dogs. Bears by 456,222.