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Old 06-19-2006, 10:20 AM   #1
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Default Dear Santonio Holmes

Thanks to the Bengals Organization (And really, who would know better?)
for providing this list. Holmes is going to need it:

How to Deal With Being in Prison

You broke the law and after a trial, you were found guilty and given prison time! You will spend most of your time in a locked building with people that have done as bad or worse than you. If you behave it might go easier on you, nonetheless, you will have to make the best of it if you are going to survive.
  1. Do not cry, show fear, or a vulnerability publicly. Doing so will quickly make you a target from other prisoners.
  2. Learn to play spades, chess, or hoops as it makes the time go by faster.
  3. Get a prison job which will make the time go by faster.
  4. Read a lot. They have a library there so use it. Catch up on your reading.
  5. Consider writing as well. Letters to friends and family, fictional short-stories, and poetry can make time elapse a bit faster.
  6. Nights are the worst. You will miss your family, and freedom. You will probably cry, so stifle it into your pillow so no one will hear.
  7. Keep cigarettes with you for use in trading and favor

Misc. Tips:

The best way to stay out of trouble is to NOT GET INVOLVED WITH DRUGS OR PUNKS.

There is no honor among thieves. You do not have any friends in prison so don't presume on friendships or expect to make new ones.

Do not attempt to escape or get into fights, unless you have to protect yourself.

Do not become 'punk' (girlfriend). While this can get protection from other inmates, you will be a virtual slave to one.

Do not snitch. If you see something illegal or violent, walk away and do not divulge any information if questioned later. Being known as a snitch will make bad things happen to you.

This has worked: Attend a group program like AA or NA. During the course of the meeting, break down and cry your eyes out as you confess that you became HIV+ from using a shared needle. Forget confidentiality. Word will spread like wildfire and everyone will instantly fear you. You will not get raped. You will not get assaulted since fighting you would expose attackers to your infected blood. Even staff will fear you. [Note: This is a gamble, and can backfire in the worst way, because your potential of being assaulted by a truly HIV+ inmate increases.]


Do not gamble, unless you can pay your debts. They will use violence and stop at almost nothing to get what is due to them.

Remember, you are in a house of thieves and liars, and should not believe very much of anything you hear. Do not trust other inmates except in cases where there would not be serious consequences for doing so. I.e. make careful choices regarding your "friends" and your location at any given moment of the day.

Do not admit or discuss any crime against a minor. Child molesters, abusers and murderers are considered the lowest forms of life in the prison and subject to frequent attacks. If you are convicted of a crime against a child, insist on being placed in Protective Custody immediately. You won't be able to hide the nature of your crime in a general population prison for long. You risk your life when (not if) other prisoners find out.
You have to stick up for yourself or you will be turned into a punk.

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Old 06-19-2006, 10:27 AM   #2
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Default Re: Dear Santonio Holmes

nice work
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