The Audit

HometownGal · 07-21-2006, 10:05 AM

Screw the IRS!

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I' ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

" Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph 's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."

floodcitygirl · 07-21-2006, 10:13 AM

Good one!

BlackNGold203 · 07-21-2006, 10:45 AM

Hun..you are on a roll today!!!

SteelersfaninPhilly · 07-21-2006, 11:14 AM

Thank you for the laugh

SteelersMongol · 07-21-2006, 05:57 PM

Ha ha ha.

07-21-2006, 10:05 AM	#1
HometownGal Living Legend Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The Burgh Posts: 21,479 Gender: Female Member Number: 2413 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	The Audit Screw the IRS! The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?" The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead." Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye." The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I' ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. " Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph 's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. "Are you okay?" the auditor asks. "Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it." __________________ The Anti-Wahoo

07-21-2006, 10:13 AM	#2
floodcitygirl Team Owner Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio Posts: 2,751 Member Number: 1784 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: The Audit Good one!

07-21-2006, 10:45 AM	#3
BlackNGold203 Team President Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Butler, PA Posts: 2,193 Gender: Male Member Number: 1217 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: The Audit Hun..you are on a roll today!!! __________________

07-21-2006, 11:14 AM	#4
SteelersfaninPhilly Bench Warmer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Philly Posts: 195 Member Number: 496 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: The Audit Thank you for the laugh __________________ I'm blind, I'm deaf, I wanna be a ref.

07-21-2006, 05:57 PM	#5
SteelersMongol Living Legend Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Ulaanbaatar, MONGOLIA Posts: 4,083 Gender: Male Member Number: 2401 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: The Audit Ha ha ha. __________________

	Why register with the Steelers Fever Forums? • Intelligent and friendly discussions. • It's free and it's quick. Always. • Enter events in the forums calendar. • Very user friendly software. • Exclusive contests and giveaways.
Donate to Steelers Fever, Click here	Our 2013 Goal: $400.00 - To Date: $00.00 (00.00%)

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)