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Old 08-11-2006, 03:52 PM   #11
stlrtruck
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteelCityMan786
Coincedentaly, I'm one of the people who practically live here.
Is this where we all say, "I'm sorry!" and then try to think of ways to get you out of there?
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Old 08-11-2006, 03:58 PM   #12
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by stlrtruck
Is this where we all say, "I'm sorry!" and then try to think of ways to get you out of there?
I think he meant here, here. I meant Cincy, here. Now, you can give me empathy!
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Old 08-13-2006, 10:12 AM   #13
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.....

Pretty good!
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Old 08-13-2006, 06:30 PM   #14
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.....

when i was 19 i answered the question "Explain periods of Unemployment" with "Its when you dont have a job"
i got the job.
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Old 08-13-2006, 06:33 PM   #15
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3 to be 4
when i was 19 i answered the question "Explain periods of Unemployment" with "Its when you dont have a job"
i got the job.
so true!
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Old 08-13-2006, 10:10 PM   #16
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamberts-lost-tooth
THE REAL APPLICATION

NAME: Marvin Lewis

DESIRED POSITION: Top of the AFC North..but that position is taken

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus 10% of fines levied against the team.
EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Ask me tommorrow

SALARY: With the crooks I got on my team...you think Im gonna let people know I have money!!??

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens, post-it notes, and stereo equipment.

REASON FOR LEAVING: I thought I was told Cincy was the cradle of civilization...you ever noticed how much "cradle"..and "armpit" sound alike when your loaded?

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday..would rather not work Sundays thank you.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: I can call a QB a crybaby while sucking my thumb and stamping my foot WHILE keeping a straight face

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: You can..but Im not sure if he has stopped laughing yet.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Why should I have to be able to lift more than my lineman?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I did...but silly me...I let Chris Henry borrow it. ..and for the record...not my gun.

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes... and the Herm Edwards look-a-like contest

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only from my ears when awakened at 3a.m. to post bond.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Able to look at 2006 as the pinnacle of my career

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: No, but honesty really hasnt been a high priority for hiring here..now has it?

SIGN HERE:

This is hilarious. I only have a few minor updates. Gotta keep those resumes current!

LAST POSITION HELD: Fetal. That would be as I cried myself to sleep after the playoff loss to the Steelers.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Criminal profiler. I can pick them out of a crowded combine with incredible accuracy!

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the advice of Odell Thurman's attorney, I have no comment.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Being a character witness at my players' parole hearings.

SIGN HERE: :sign09:
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Old 08-13-2006, 11:14 PM   #17
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MattsMe
:

LAST POSITION HELD: Fetal. That would be as I cried myself to sleep after the playoff loss to the Steelers.

:
doggy style comes to mind (see mike browns cheezy grin)
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Old 08-13-2006, 11:28 PM   #18
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Default Re: This is an actual job application someone submitted at a fast-food establishment.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tony hipchest
doggy style comes to mind (see mike browns cheezy grin)
I almost said the spoon, as he cuddled CJ after the loss and held him until he quit sobbing.
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