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Old 08-26-2008, 07:44 PM   #1
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Default DNC Convention day one schedule

Schedule of Events for Day One of DNC

Here is the schedule for day one of the DNC that was emailed to me.

7:00 pm ~ Opening flag burning, (U.S., U.K. and Israeli flags will be in attendance.)

7:15 pm ~ Pledge of Allegiance to the U. N. and the future "One World Government."

7:20 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

7:25 pm ~ Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Back-up chants provided by the local Wiccan Organization.

7:45 pm ~ Ceremonial tree hugging. A fake Oak tree will be provided.

7:55 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:00 pm ~ A Speech given by Al Gore on "How I Invented the Internet." Expecting a possible run-over as the Goracle is expected to blend this with Global Warming.

8:15 pm ~ Gay Wedding Planning, Barney Frank presiding.

8:35 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

8:40 pm ~ "Our Troops are War Criminals," speech given by John Kerry and Jane Fonda.

9.00 pm ~ Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon will deliver the eulogies of these Heroic figures.

9:50 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

10:00 pm ~ 'Answering Machine Etiquette' by residing expert, Alec Baldwin.

10:20 pm ~ The New "Drive Thru Abortion Express Lanes," being installed at Planned Parenthood franchises across the nation. Cecile Richards speaking.

11:00 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:05 pm ~ Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund to be sponsored by Barbara Streisand.

11:15 pm ~ "Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay" announcement by Sean Penn.

11:30 pm ~ "Oval Office Affairs. The proper use of cigars," brought to you by William Jefferson Clinton.

11:45 pm ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

11:50 pm ~ "How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers," by Howard Dean and Rosie O'Donnell. Dean will perform his trademark scream for the crowd.

12:15 am ~ 'Truth in Broadcasting Award' - Presented to Sir Dan Rather by Michael Moore will be simulcast from the Magical, Mystical World of Journalistic Knights.

12:25 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

12:30 am ~ Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Mahmoud will briefly discuss the dhimmitudal role of the great satan.

12:45 am ~ Nomination of Barack Hussein Obama by Nancy Pelosi. Address will be fed live via satellite from Syrian President Assad's hot tub.

1:00 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

1:05 am ~ Coronation of Barack Hussein Obama

1:30 am ~ Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.

1:35 am ~ Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home. Billy reminds him to use the route through Chappaquiddick.

Here We Go Brownies Here We Go Woof Woof
Americanos dicen ingl?s, Aprietan dos para Deportaci?
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