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Old 01-21-2010, 06:23 PM   #1
TheWarDen86
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Default Colonoscopies and you....

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

And the best one of all:
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:33 PM   #2
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Default Re: Colonoscopies and you....

LMAO!!!!

Been there, done that - 3x.

It really wasn't all that bad - drinking that pre-test strawberry flavored shit your head off drink was the worst part. They tell ya to drink the entire gallon but I could only gag down 1/2 of it.

I was "twilighted" so I don't remember any of the procedure, thank God, but I do remember being wheeled into the room and seeing dozens of snake shaped instruments on the wall of varying sizes and I said to the doc - "you're going to put one of those up here (pointing to my hiney)?" He gave me a wry smile and nodded. I begged him to give me extra drugs and he did.
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:37 PM   #3
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Default Re: Colonoscopies and you....

Quote:
Originally Posted by HometownGal View Post
LMAO!!!!

Been there, done that - 3x.

It really wasn't all that bad - drinking that pre-test strawberry flavored shit your head off drink was the worst part. They tell ya to drink the entire gallon but I could only gag down 1/2 of it.

I was "twilighted" so I don't remember any of the procedure, thank God, but I do remember being wheeled into the room and seeing dozens of snake shaped instruments on the wall of varying sizes and I said to the doc - "you're going to put one of those up here (pointing to my hiney)?" He gave me a wry smile and nodded. I begged him to give me extra drugs and he did.

I'm horrified by the thought.

Oh well, it's got to be done right?



BTW - This one was my favoroite:

Quote:
'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
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Old 01-21-2010, 06:43 PM   #4
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Default Re: Colonoscopies and you....

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Old 01-22-2010, 12:16 AM   #5
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Default Re: Colonoscopies and you....

Quote:
5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'
hehe.
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Old 01-22-2010, 04:54 AM   #6
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Default Re: Colonoscopies and you....

Quote:
Originally Posted by HometownGal View Post
LMAO!!!!

Been there, done that - 3x.

It really wasn't all that bad - drinking that pre-test strawberry flavored shit your head off drink was the worst part. They tell ya to drink the entire gallon but I could only gag down 1/2 of it.

I was "twilighted" so I don't remember any of the procedure, thank God, but I do remember being wheeled into the room and seeing dozens of snake shaped instruments on the wall of varying sizes and I said to the doc - "you're going to put one of those up here (pointing to my hiney)?" He gave me a wry smile and nodded. I begged him to give me extra drugs and he did.
The thought of that is just terrible.
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Old 01-22-2010, 05:17 AM   #7
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Default Re: Colonoscopies and you....

I had one done last year.

As i was laying on the table talking to the doctors and nurses and I jokingly said " I only want a single opinion and not a second opinion today"

The first doctor replied " our standard joke around here is to tell the patients that everything is fine if they can only feel one of the doctors hands on your shoulder during the examination. However you are in real trouble if you can feel both of the doctors hands on your shoulders during the examination"

That is the last thing I can remember before the gas Knocked me out. I woke up fine with a healthy appetite. I couldnt tell you how many hands the doctor had on my shoulders though
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