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Old 04-06-2011, 11:44 AM   #71
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You pansy! This isn't about you, this is about Tom Brady and Commissioner Roger Goodell getting the NFL setup the way they want it!" I know where you're trying to get, and I'm paid by Goodell to keep all seekers out of the Lambert Forest. As he laid slurping up spilled Busch Light, Wally sat up almost as if he were instantanioiusly sober! Gleering at the butch truck driver, Wally grabbed B-Dub by his granny panties, exited the truck, and exclaimed....
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Old 04-06-2011, 02:29 PM   #72
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... "To Hell with Roger and Marsha and their pantywaist vision of football, and to Hell with you!" Wally then tore off B-Dub's skid-marked, stanky underwear and hurled them into the cab of the truck at the horrible woman like a smelly grenade. B-Dub's habit of not washing his ass had finally paid off as the trucker started convulsing and heaving uncontrollably at the unspeakable odor of the undergarment. MOP then yelled, "Scatter!", and the group fled on foot in different directions into the dark forest.

VA ran smack dab into a tree and knocked himself sillier than normal. He sat up holding his aching head and looked around to see...
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Old 04-06-2011, 03:12 PM   #73
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that he actually NOT made it in to the forest but instead had run right dab into the biggest oak tree he'd ever seen. Dazed and confused he could see the shadow of the trucker coming after him. Naked as a J-Bird, He began shaking. All those times his friends told him that cross dressing was going to catch up with him, came true. As the trucker got within 10 yards, Wally began throwing empty cans of Busch Light he had gathered from the cab of the truck. The trucker stumbled backwards and just as she hit the ground MoP....
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Old 04-06-2011, 03:26 PM   #74
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... pulled a crossbow out of his thong and nailed her to the spot where she laid with 2 quick and deadly accurate shots to the earlobes and 1 through both feet.

The other guys stared in amazement with their mouths hanging wide open at what they had just witnessed!

Wally slurred, "Holeeee shhhit, MoP! Where the hell wasss that croshhhbow?!?!?!"

MoP answered with a wink, "In my special holster. I never leave home without it after that incident years ago where I....
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Old 04-11-2011, 11:31 AM   #75
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Was attacked by Tom Brady and Tim Lumber at a special benefit for Lady Gaga and RuPaul! But that's not important now. We need to get moving if we have any hopes of finding Lambert! Just then from the deep darkness of the woods the men could hear.....
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Old 04-13-2011, 09:41 PM   #76
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... a guttural roar. There was no need to question the source. It was the BigRick. Someone, or something, was hurting him. MoP looked over at his friends, who were still shaken by their encounter with the she-driver. Do you think the BigRick got captured by the evil wizard, SiCa? B-Dub just stared off into the forest. Wally was walking around picking up the empty Busch Light cans and searching for a drop he might have missed. Finally, Va ...
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Old 04-14-2011, 11:03 AM   #77
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just snapped. he had pulled out a colt 45 and started firing. not sure exactly were va pulled the 45 from the gang started running and trying to hid. after the smell of shit and gunpowder dissipated it was clear va had killed.......
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Old 04-14-2011, 11:39 AM   #78
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... the lady trucker's desire to ever have sex with a man again by looking at his glistening, sweaty, nude form in the pale moonlight. He also had blasted a possum into the next life with the Colt.

B-Dub became excited and hollered, "Yeee doggies! Soup's on!!!" He then ran over to the possum carcass and in a matter of minutes, had skinned and gutted the poor varmint. He then skewered it with a nearby stick and began building a fire pit.

"We are going to need our strength if we are going hiking into those woods to battle an evil wizard, and this here critter is gonna provide that for us. I learned how to rustle up roadkill vittles back in my trailer park from Britney Spears' ex-husband. These suckers are good eatin'!"

After he got the fire roaring, and after the rest of the guys were done retching, he placed the makeshift spit over the flames and began cooking. With just the things that Mother Nature provided around them, he seasoned the beast to taste with....
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Old 04-14-2011, 02:21 PM   #79
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honeysuckle, grass, and oak tree bark. As the group sat eating, they continued to hear BigRick screaming like Tom Brady getting thumped by James Harrison. They chuckled at a few of the squelches, but eventually they knew whatever was tearing BigRick down would eventually get to them. After their fine meal, they took up their belongings and trotted towards the forest, Lambert's forest, and as they grew closer.....Wally began to recall.....
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