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|05-01-2011, 11:31 AM||#1|
Join Date: Feb 2006
Member Number: 1990
Thanked 3,937 Times in 1,668 Posts
The recession has hit everybody really hard...
My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
“If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” ― James Madison
"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." - Thomas Jefferson
"The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first." -Thomas Jefferson
"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers." - Thomas Jefferson
|05-01-2011, 06:37 PM||#2|
Quest For Seven
Join Date: Oct 2006
Member Number: 3236
Thanked 5,802 Times in 2,153 Posts
|06-16-2011, 02:09 AM||#4|
Join Date: Jan 2011
Member Number: 17631
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanks for the laughs Master, that was quite good.
Deserves got nothin to do with it.
|06-16-2011, 08:23 PM||#5|
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: right here
Member Number: 16190
Thanked 2,240 Times in 994 Posts
that was awesome
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