kentucky derby: who to watch/ who will win

[j-dawg]

thought this was a bit funny....

Time to take another peek [Lifestyle Theme] into "The Lifestyles of the Rich... and Cranky."

People think it's easy being rich, but these peasants know nothing about the crushing pressure of always having to stand out in the crowd, if only for appearance's sake. Take the Kentucky Derby. This annual run for the roses is the preeminent social event for the horsey set. It's a grand setting, a place to see and be seen, an occasion to wear your Versace white suit and your $1,000 handmade Panama hat, and, of course, a place for sipping the royalty of Southern drinks: mint juleps.

But there's the rub, you see. These days, mint juleps have become so commonplace at the Derby that they're serving them in plastic cups! How can one stand out if even the hoi polloi are sloshing down juleps like they were Slurpees?

Well, thank goodness for Woodford Reserve. For this year's Derby, this distillery has rescued your truly-rich by offering a drink worthy of them. Called "The Ultimate Mint Julep," it's made with only the finest Kentucky bourbon, mint imported from Morocco, sugar from the South Pacific, and ancient ice brought in from the Arctic Circle. Equally important, the UMJ is served in a gold-plated cup and sipped through a silver straw. Now that's class!

The beautiful part is that this libation comes with a price tag of $1,000. Per drink. Not including tip. The price is beautiful, because it will separate the true hoity toities from the riff-raff, and the world will be in proper balance once again.

This is Jim Hightower saying... Not only does the Ultimate Mint Julep let the rich rise above the rest of us, but it also lets them show their philanthropic side, for the distiller will donate the drink's profits to a charity for retired race horses. What do you bet that the rich get a bar receipt for each of their $1,000 juleps, so they can deduct the cost from their income taxes as a charitable contribution?

Sources:
"An expensive thirst-quencher (tip not included)," Austin American-Statesman, April 12, 2006.

[tony hipchest]

Originally Posted by j-dawg

, and ancient ice brought in from the Arctic Circle. included),"

who the hell wants to drink frozen wooly mammoth piss?

[MattsMe]

Originally Posted by tony hipchest

who the hell wants to drink frozen wooly mammoth piss?

Tom Cruise???

[tony hipchest]

Originally Posted by MattsMe

Tom Cruise???

i thought there was no answer to that question. i stand corrected.

[MasterOfPuppets]

Originally Posted by MattsMe

Tom Cruise???

sweet!!!!!!!

[SteelerzGirl]

Wow, Jewel hangs out at NASCAR races and the Kentucky Derby! I love it! Tom Brady is at the Derby, too. He looks like such a dork. Blech. LOL

[83-Steelers-43]

The proceeds from the mint juleps go to retired horses. Yeah, screw those Katrina victims......lol. At least we have our priorities straight.

Congrats to Barbaro.

[SteelerzGirl]

Originally Posted by 83-Steelers-43

Congrats to Barbaro.

Yea, it wasn't even close! My Steppenwolfer came in 3rd. I'm happy w/that.

[3 to be 4]

Barry Bonds has enough Steroids in him to win the Kentucky Derby.

[tony hipchest]

Originally Posted by 3 to be 4

Barry Bonds has enough Steroids in him to win the Kentucky Derby.

on another board we had a great run of corey dillon big nose jokes.
he won the derby "by a nose".
belichick was gonna try him out at "nose" tackle.
he was jamal lewis's best friend and customer, etc.