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August 16th, 2014, 7:30pmET

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Old 03-10-2014, 07:56 PM   #1
Cpitt78
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Default A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

Hope this makes you all laugh. :)

Lamarr Lamarr
by CPitt78

Lamarr, Lamarr...
You've fallen, and far.

Got paid, got rich, got fat
Got cut, and that was that.

If quarterbacks were baby backs,
You'd have made quite the All-Pro.
But we wanted sacks and you wanted snacks,
So give us back some of that dough

Cartman, Toddler, and Woodley waddle into a bar,
That's fiction fat, baby fat, and fat that's gone too far

Took the Roonies for every penny,
Yet we couldn't trade you for a buck
If the NFL had a dollar menu,
You'd still be shit out of luck

Couldn't live up to your deal,
Too busy forking food up off your plate
The proof is in the pudding,
All the pudding that you ate.

Alas, the Pats will pick you up,
Looking to whip you into shape.
But we know better,
So eat your Whopper and count your cheddar,
Then choke on the fries and shake.

Oh hush Lamarr, just hop in your car,
This is goodbye from the Burgh,
All that cash just to pad your ass
Drive away, you overpaid turd

Last edited by Cpitt78; 03-10-2014 at 11:22 PM.
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:01 PM   #2
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cpitt78 View Post
Hope this makes you all laugh. :)

Lamarr Lamarr
by CPitt78

Lamarr, Lamarr...
You've fallen, and far.

Got paid, got rich, got fat
Got cut, and that was that.

If quarterbacks were baby backs,
You'd have made quite the All-Pro.
But we wanted sacks and you wanted snacks,
How bout you give back some of that dough?

Cartman, Toddler, and Woodley waddle into a bar,
That's fiction fat, baby fat, and fat that's gone too far

Took the Roonies for every penny,
Yet we couldn't trade you for a buck
If the NFL had a dollar menu, You'd still be shit out of luck

Couldn't live up to your deal,
Too busy forking food up off your plate
The proof is in the pudding,
All the pudding that you ate.

Alas, the Pats will pick you up, looking to whip you into shape.
But we know better,
So eat your Whopper and count your cheddar,
Then choke on the fries and shake.

Oh hush Lamarr, just hop in your car,
This is goodbye from the Burgh,
All that cash just to pad your ass
Drive away, you overpaid turd
mean-spirited, but in a funny "did you see how huge he got at the class reunion and how unemployed he is while still bragging about how awesome he 'is' " sort of way
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:03 PM   #3
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

I'm just trying to lighten the mood. If it helps, I loved him in the Blind Side.
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:06 PM   #4
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

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I'm just trying to lighten the mood. If it helps, I loved him in the Blind Side.
no, I appreciate it - it is cathartic as a fan to say goodbye to him - he just never lived up to his potential, and, like Santonio Holmes - it is a record that has been playing out over and over again with former Steelers - his best days are behind him
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

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no, I appreciate it - it is cathartic as a fan to say goodbye to him - he just never lived up to his potential, and, like Santonio Holmes - it is a record that has been playing out over and over again with former Steelers - his best days are behind him
It is very sad. Not sure what happened. He was huge is the 2009 Super Bowl ...then he was just....huge in general.
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:10 PM   #6
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

On the bright side I'm guessing this means we keep Worlids?
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Old 03-10-2014, 08:20 PM   #7
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

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On the bright side I'm guessing this means we keep Worlids?
well, they're at least working in the right direction IMO - speaking of poems, Woodley, on the far right, used to spit out mad rhymes back in 87'

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Old 03-10-2014, 08:41 PM   #8
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Old 03-10-2014, 11:01 PM   #9
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

There once was a man from Da Burgh
Whose girth had become quite absurd.
First quarter: a sack!
Second quarter: oh snap!!!
My hammy!!!!! (Injured & out by the third.)
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Old 03-10-2014, 11:10 PM   #10
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Default Re: A Poem for Lamarr Woodley by Cpitt78

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Originally Posted by teegre View Post
There once was a man from Da Burgh
Whose girth had become quite absurd.
First quarter: a sack!
Second quarter: oh snap!!!
My hammy!!!!! (Injured & out by the third.)
Well done!!
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