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Old 01-27-2014, 01:48 PM   #1
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Default Mike Tomlin Wears Size 97 Sneakers On Sideline To Interfere With Game Action

Mike Tomlin Wears Size 97 Sneakers On Sideline To Interfere With Game Action From Required Distance

"What? I'm Standing Where They Told Me To Stand" Says Steelers Coach

By PFM Staff Updated: December 8, 2013

PITTSBURGH – After coming under fire for his actions last week in which he interfered with the game action in a game against Baltimore, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin unveiled his new footwear for today’s game against the Miami Dolphins: a pair of size 97 Converse Chuck Taylors that allowed him to interfere with the game action while standing an appropriate distance away from the field. "And you know what they say about coaches with big feet," said Tomlin with a wink.

“What? I’m standing where they said I should” remarked Tomlin. “I swear, there’s just no pleasing you people. I walk onto the field during a kickoff return, you complain. So instead, I stand the NFL mandated four feet away from the field, and use a pair of custom made six-foot long shoes to trip Lamar Miller on a sweep to the outside, and you have a problem with that too? It’s like you guys in the media are just looking for anything to complain about.”

Tomlin, 41, has been fined $100,000, and may potentially cost his team a late round draft pick for his interference with a Jacoby Jones kick return in last week’s Thanksgiving game against the Ravens. However, a source within the league office confirms that there is nothing in the league’s rule book that prevents a coach from wearing oversized shoes that allow game field intrusion from a safe distance.

“Technically, there’ nothing we can do about Tomlin in this case,” explained the source. He’s standing behind the white stripe like he’s supposed to, so there’s nothing illegal about his action. I wish we had a ‘being a douchebag’ clause that we could invoke, but we had to get rid of that under threat of harassment from Rex Ryan’s lawyers.”

In related news, sources at the Acme corporation confirm that they have received an order for a pair of nine-foot long sneakers, customized with spring loaded poison darts, spinning razor blades, and knockout gas, to be shipped to a “B. Belichick,” in the greater Boston area.
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