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Old 01-15-2010, 02:57 PM   #1301
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

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The Cincinnati Address

Four score and ten years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new league, conceived in gridiron, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, except those idiots in tiger-striped uniforms.

Now we are engaged in a great playoff race, testing whether your team, or any team so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that game. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those Bengals who here gave their lives that better teams could win. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should mock them.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The Bengals, living and dead, who struggled here, have desecrated it, with their poor play two weeks straight. The world will little note, nor long remember what they did here, but we can never forget how much they sucked. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so notably regressed. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these horrid dead we take increased gratification for that loss for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this season, under Goodell, shall be remembered -- as valid proof that the Bengals - are the Bungles, forever - and shall always perish in the playoffs (if they even make it that far).

-Abraham Lincoln

P.S., the Bengals suck.
I agree with everything said here and even the part of the Bengals suck.
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:41 PM   #1302
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

Glad to hear it. That one took some time. I was going to do one to Shakespeare's To Be or Not to Be soliloquoy, but then decided that would take more time and effort than the Bengals deserve.

Since, you know, they suck.
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Old 01-16-2010, 06:47 AM   #1303
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

Today is a new day and nothing has changed the Bungholes still suck.
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Old 01-16-2010, 06:45 PM   #1304
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

Today, it was announced that Marvin Lewis was named Coach of the Year. The reason? Because he managed to win 10 games despite the fact that the Bengals suck.
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Old 01-17-2010, 07:23 AM   #1305
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Old 01-18-2010, 04:40 PM   #1306
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

happy martin luther king jr. day.

on this day 40 years ago he had a dream that the bengals did not suck.

then he woke up, and went on about his life.
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Old 01-20-2010, 04:15 AM   #1307
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

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happy martin luther king jr. day.

on this day 40 years ago he had a dream that the bengals did not suck.

then he woke up, and went on about his life.
That dream was a nightmare.
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Old 02-03-2010, 12:32 AM   #1308
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

so once again the groundhog poked his little head out of his little hole and saw that the bengals suck.

6 more years of lewis and palmer sure are gonna be great.
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Old 02-05-2010, 08:12 PM   #1309
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

85 just tweeted that the Bengals still suck.
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Old 02-07-2010, 09:28 PM   #1310
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Default Re: in 1492 Columbus discovered...

the bungles have never won a superbowl.

the 'aints have.

WHO DAT SUCK?
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