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Old 10-23-2006, 09:33 AM   #1
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Default The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

Hey Y'all,

I figured after the heartbreaker yesterday we need a little smile....so if you have a really bad joke or pun, submit it to this thread..

I'll start...

Why do lobsters never share?

Because they're shellfish! Ba-dum-bump!
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Old 10-23-2006, 04:52 PM   #2
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

How did baby Hitler tie his shoes?




In little knotsies.
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Old 10-23-2006, 05:21 PM   #3
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "hey - why the long face?"
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Old 10-23-2006, 07:15 PM   #4
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

Four football fans are standing on a cliff. One is a Steeler fan, one a Patriots fan, one a Browns fan, and one a Green Bay fan. They were trying to prove how loyal they were to their team.
The Patriots fan said "This is for my team!" and jumped off the cliff and died
The Green Bay fan did the same, and he also died.
The Steelers fan took a deep breath and screamed, "This is for the Steelers!"
And he pushed the Browns fan off the cliff.
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Old 10-23-2006, 09:27 PM   #5
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape???


Grapes are purple!!!!



What did Tarzan say when he saw the herd of elephants?


Here come the grapes!!!!! (He was colorblind!!!!)
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Old 10-24-2006, 09:23 AM   #6
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Thumbs up Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

Nice work, guys! Keep it coming!


Here's another one...

Why is so hot in a football stadium after a game?

All the FANS have left!
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Last edited by memphissteelergirl; 10-24-2006 at 12:05 PM.
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Old 10-25-2006, 10:00 AM   #7
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

How many steps does it take to put a tiger in a refridgerator?

3...open the door...put in the tiger..close the door.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant in a refridgerator?

4....open the door...take out the tiger...put in the elephant...close the door.
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Old 10-25-2006, 10:09 AM   #8
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

Three strings go into a bar and sit at a table.
The first string gets up the courage to go to the bar and order three drinks.
The bartender looks at the string and says "Sorry, we dont serve strings."
So the string goes back to the table and sits with his two friends. The second string takes a deep breath, goes up to the bar and says "I need three beers"
The bartender smirks and says "I just told your friend, we dont serve strings here," and the second string goes back to the table and sits down.
The third string thinks for a bit, goes to the bathroom, ties a bow in his middle and pulls the top of himself apart into tiny threads..and then the bottom apart into tiny threads. He leaves the bathroom..goes up to the bartender and orders three beers. The Bartender looks him up and down and asks..."Are you a string"...to which he answers.."No, I'm a fraid Knot"
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Old 10-25-2006, 10:27 AM   #9
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

A mushroom goes into a bar and sits by a beautiful blonde. He looks her over and says "Can I buy you a drink?"
"I dont accept drinks from mushrooms" she says.
"Well, how about we find a table and talk?"..says the mushroom
"I dont sit with mushrooms" says the blonde.
"Well, how about your number and I will call you sometime?" the mushroom persists.
"Listen!" the female says "I dont talk to mushrooms...I dont sit with mushrooms..and I DONT go out with mushrooms!"
"Aw c'mon." begs the mushroom "Give me a chance, I'm a fungi"
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Old 10-25-2006, 10:30 AM   #10
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Default Re: The Official "Bad Jokes and Puns" Thread

...and my nephews favorite.

What do you do when your kotex catches on fire?


Tampon it.
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