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An important history lesson for you TRUE Steelers fans!

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Old 11-29-2006, 10:37 AM   #1
onemanswarm
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Default Week 12 Shower Rankings (16-32)

16. St. Louis Rams (5-6): 1-5 in your last 6 games is a lot better than 0-6. Not really.

17. Miami Dolphins (5-6): Was there anyone more thankful than Joey Harrington on Thursday? Was there anyone less thankful than the 40,000 Lions fans who decided to spend their holiday watching their much-maligned former quarterback scorch their secondary to the tune of 213 yards and 3 touchdowns? Miami has won 4 in-a-row and still finds itself at the bottom of the AFC East. If they played in the NFC North or NFC West, they would be tied for second place. The scary thing is that the AFC is deep enough that the Dolphins could run the table, finish 10-6, and still miss the playoffs. I?m telling you, the Cubs need Nick Saban. This guy really knows how to alternate between building and crushing hope, the very foundation of the Cubs? storied franchise.

18. San Francisco 49ers (5-6): If Frank Gore doesn?t go out with an injured ankle (I refuse to say ?out with an ankle.?), San Francisco probably puts this game away with a touchdown on their final possession, leaving them a game out of first place in the aforementioned NFC West. This is because the NFC is bad. Oh, and Coach Nolan? love your suit.

19. Minnesota Vikings (5-6): The 5-6 Minnesota Vikings are just two games out of wild card contention. Did I mention that the NFC is bad? Still, that should not take away from a quality win over a resurgent Arizona Cardinals football team in search of consecutive wins for the first time since?well, the Arizona Cardinals football team. Uncle Rico passed for 271 and 3 TDs, while managing to throw a pigskin over the mountain that is Darnell Dockett.

20. Atlanta Falcons (5-6): Mike, flipping your dirty birds isn?t going to quiet the boo birds. Oh, and running for twice as many yards as you pass for isn?t going to beat many teams. Granted, your receivers didn?t help your cause with all the drops, but it?s possible that their skills will continue to erode if they get no more than 2 touches a game. 9/24 is an off night for an NBA star. It?s a horrible week for an NFL quarterback, and it?s becoming par for Ron Mexico?s course.

21. Buffalo Bills (5-6): Willis McGahee didn?t get many touches, but he sure did make the most of them. Averaging 5.25 yards on 12 carries with 2 touchdowns is just plain getting it done. If there was a ball carrier rating, this would be in the 100 range. It?s no Hairy Johnson performance, but it was good enough to give the Jaguars another tough loss. Roscoe P. Coltrane chipped in with an 82-yard punt return for a touchdown. Hot pursuit!

22. Green Bay Packers (4-7): Brett Favre is just 10 touchdown passes away from tying Dan Marino?s record at 420 (cough). If he averages just one touchdown pass per game, he will have shattered Marino?s record by the time he retires in 2018.

23. Tennessee Titans (4-7): The thrilling comeback against the Giants represented a career game for both Vince Young and Adam ?Pacman? Jones. In a postgame press conference, Young stated that the game was ?a sneak peek of what's to happen. Not just me, but this team in general.? Pacman Jones opted not to speak with the press, choosing instead to spit in the face of the nearest woman.

24. Philadelphia Eagles (5-6): Jeff Garcia looked remarkably crisp before leaving with a strained forearm. He said after the game that it felt good to get his hands back under center and that he expected to be ready to play next week. ?I?ll be ready come Monday night. I?m going to spend all week working out the forearm while I watch film on the Panthers,? said Garcia. Garcia did not actually say that and may not, in fact, be gay.

25. Washington Redskins (4-7): The Redskins won. More importantly, the Panthers lost. Did I mention that Jake Delhomme looks like Lloyd Christmas?

26. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-7): Ouch.

27. Houston Texans (3-8): David Carr passed for 321 yards, but the Texans managed just 25 yards on the ground and punter Chad Stanley showed the ball handling skills of Charles Stanley. You know, Charles Stanley. The evangelist? He?s the guy who looks like Orville Redenbacher but has a voice that would make Shadoe Stevens weep in shame? Ugh. You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Alright, let me try to rework this. David Carr passed for 321 yards, but the Texans managed just 25 yards on the ground and punter Chad Stanley looked more like Chad Lowe, as he appeared to be estranged from his snapper. Better? Maybe you oughtta put down the US Weekly and get you some churchin?.

28. Cleveland Browns (3-8): The 2006 Cleveland Browns are pleased to present the Word of the Day: somniferous. Somniferous [som-nif-er-uh s] (adj): bringing or inducing sleep, as drugs or influences. E.g., I find the style of football played by the 2006 Cleveland Browns to be somniferous.

29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-8): B-Gradkow threw for a paltry 120 yards and Carnell ?Pontiac? Williams rushed for 78 more as the Tampa Bay Buccaneers fell to 3-8 following a Thanksgiving Day loss to, oh who the hell cares?

30. Oakland Raiders (2-9): Aaron Brooks returned to lead a rejuvenated Oakland Raiders offense to a stunning near upset over the San Diego Chargers. Oakland actually led this game after three quarters and ultimately lost by only seven points, representing one of their most impressive defeats of the 2006 season. ?I think this team is really starting to come into its own and learn how to lose consistently and respectfully,? a boastful Art Shell may not have said after the game.

31. Arizona Cardinals (2-9): One week after their triumphant Toilet Bowl XLI victory over the Lions, the Arizona Cardinals got back to basics in losing 31-26 to the Vikings. The game featured a breakout performance from Edgerrin James who rushed for 15 yards on just four carries. This represented a significant improvement over the 3.06 yards per carry average he brought into the game.

32. Detroit Lions (2-9): Are fans allowed to bring mustachioed effigies into Ford Field?
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Old 11-29-2006, 10:52 AM   #2
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Default Re: Week 12 Shower Rankings (16-32)

Quote:
24. Philadelphia Eagles (5-6): Jeff Garcia looked remarkably crisp before leaving with a strained forearm. He said after the game that it felt good to get his hands back under center and that he expected to be ready to play next week. “I’ll be ready come Monday night. I’m going to spend all week working out the forearm while I watch film on the Panthers,” said Garcia. Garcia did not actually say that and may not, in fact, be gay.


at 4-7 the steelers are better (and more pwerful) than all the 5-6 teams, and definitely not at the bottom of the 3 other teams at 4-7. the titans, redskins, and packers, are 3 teams going nowhere fast.
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Old 11-29-2006, 11:11 AM   #3
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Default Re: Week 12 Shower Rankings (16-32)

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Originally Posted by tony hipchest View Post


at 4-7 the steelers are better (and more pwerful) than all the 5-6 teams, and definitely not at the bottom of the 3 other teams at 4-7. the titans, redskins, and packers, are 3 teams going nowhere fast.
Dude...we are horrible. I have come to the realization that we suck. We won't get to .500 this year
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Old 11-29-2006, 11:37 PM   #4
massacris87
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Default Re: Week 12 Shower Rankings (16-32)

Dude...we only beat two teams with a winning record.(KC, NO) Not to mention we lost two games by teams with a losing record.(OAK, ATL)
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