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August 16th, 2014, 7:30pmET

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Old 01-28-2007, 10:16 PM   #1
HometownGal
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Default For The Ladies!

Payback is a......well, you know.

Old Lady

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness ... just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

I'll write on the walls with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers
and then shake their head,
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry... I'll run ... if I'm able!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

I'll sit close to the TV, through channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
When I'm an old lady and live with my kids.

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

Blessings on All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere!

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, you're It
2. Hide and go pee
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear
4. Kick the bucket
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over
6. Musical recliners
7. Simon says something incoherent
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze

OLD IS WHEN
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have
to go along
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEKEND
1. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
clothing.If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in
the first place!
2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
dunk."
3. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
4. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't
fallen asleep yet.
5. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he
said.
6. Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
7. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started
with something called labor!
8 . Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
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Old 01-29-2007, 09:44 AM   #2
memphissteelergirl
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Default Re: For The Ladies!

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