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Old 05-02-2007, 10:14 AM   #1
lamberts-lost-tooth
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Default Training the Untrainable!!!

Well...after FIVE non-productive weeks of trying to teach my latest trainee how to be a police dispatcher...the Administrative Gods finally decided that "this job isnt for you". (No kidding? )

I have got to tell you all that I am very relieved to put the daily frustration and "proximity migraines" behind me. Please allow me to share some of her proudest moments.

Caller: "Uh..yea...my neighbor is fighting with his girfriend and she is screaming at him
Trainee: "Okay...are they male or female"?


Caller: "Could someone call Animal Control for me...I have lost my black lab"
Trainee: "Sure..Maam. You said it was a black lab"?
Caller: "Yes"
Trainee: "Okay...we will have Animal Control call you back"........(Trainee then hangs up phone wothout gettng the callers name...address..or phone number )

Caller: "I locked my keys in my car"
Trainee: "Okay we can have an officer help you...but I have a couple of questions...Do you have power steering"? (We do ask if it is power locks....I could car less if they have power steering )

Caller: "My aunt has asthma..and she is having a little bit of a problem breathing"
Trainee: "Okay......whats the problem?"
Caller: "My Aunt has asthma ...she is having some problems breathing"
Trainee: "I am going to have an ambulance sent to your address...but could you tell me if she is breathing okay"
Caller: "No!...she has asthma!!"
Trainee: "You have asthma?...and are having problems breathing?"
Caller: "MY AUNT has asthma...my AUNT...not me!!"
Trainee: OH...Okay...are you with your Aunt now?"
Caller: "Maam?...how would I know my aunt has a problem if I wasnt with her?"

Officer: "P-23 to dispatch"
Trainee: "P-23 to dispatch..go ahead
Officer: "...........P-23 to dispatch ...I'm P-23....you are the dispatch."
Trainee: (pause)...Dispatch to P-23...10-4"

Officer: P-45 to dispatch..do you have the return on that vehicle?"
Trainee: "10-4...return is clear and valid to a Carlos Monte"
Officer: "P-45 to dispatch...I dont think that is a name....are you sure thats not the make of the car"
Trainee: "uh...yea..10-4...clear valid on a 1994 Monte Carlo"

Anyone else ever had "that trainee" that made you wish you could drink something stronger than coffee?
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:18 AM   #2
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!



HAHAHAHAHAHA

PLEASE get in touch with MGM or someone... this NEEDS to be a movie
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:21 AM   #3
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

Sounds like a Reno 911 skit.

Trainee = Deputy Trudy Wiegel
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:22 AM   #4
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

Very funny - by the way, did the person who locked their keys in their car ever hear of a locksmith? Hardly a nine-one-one-worthy situation.
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Old 05-02-2007, 10:49 AM   #5
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamberts-lost-tooth View Post
Well...after FIVE non-productive weeks of trying to teach my latest trainee how to be a police dispatcher...the Administrative Gods finally decided that "this job isnt for you". (No kidding? )

I have got to tell you all that I am very relieved to put the daily frustration and "proximity migraines" behind me. Please allow me to share some of her proudest moments.

Caller: "Uh..yea...my neighbor is fighting with his girfriend and she is screaming at him
Trainee: "Okay...are they male or female"?


Caller: "Could someone call Animal Control for me...I have lost my black lab"
Trainee: "Sure..Maam. You said it was a black lab"?
Caller: "Yes"
Trainee: "Okay...we will have Animal Control call you back"........(Trainee then hangs up phone wothout gettng the callers name...address..or phone number )

Caller: "I locked my keys in my car"
Trainee: "Okay we can have an officer help you...but I have a couple of questions...Do you have power steering"? (We do ask if it is power locks....I could car less if they have power steering )

Caller: "My aunt has asthma..and she is having a little bit of a problem breathing"
Trainee: "Okay......whats the problem?"
Caller: "My Aunt has asthma ...she is having some problems breathing"
Trainee: "I am going to have an ambulance sent to your address...but could you tell me if she is breathing okay"
Caller: "No!...she has asthma!!"
Trainee: "You have asthma?...and are having problems breathing?"
Caller: "MY AUNT has asthma...my AUNT...not me!!"
Trainee: OH...Okay...are you with your Aunt now?"
Caller: "Maam?...how would I know my aunt has a problem if I wasnt with her?"

Officer: "P-23 to dispatch"
Trainee: "P-23 to dispatch..go ahead
Officer: "...........P-23 to dispatch ...I'm P-23....you are the dispatch."
Trainee: (pause)...Dispatch to P-23...10-4"

Officer: P-45 to dispatch..do you have the return on that vehicle?"
Trainee: "10-4...return is clear and valid to a Carlos Monte"
Officer: "P-45 to dispatch...I dont think that is a name....are you sure thats not the make of the car"
Trainee: "uh...yea..10-4...clear valid on a 1994 Monte Carlo"

Anyone else ever had "that trainee" that made you wish you could drink something stronger than coffee?

I don't want to get into a "are women as smart as a man" debate.............but I knew before I got to this point in your post that the person you were training was a lady.
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Old 05-02-2007, 11:13 AM   #6
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

Just... wow... Please thank your administrator for removing that incompetent goof from such an important public service role. Perhaps a job in the cafeteria would better suit this person. "Do you want fries with that?"
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Old 05-02-2007, 11:28 AM   #7
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by PisnNapalm View Post
Just... wow... Please thank your administrator for removing that incompetent goof from such an important public service role. Perhaps a job in the cafeteria would better suit this person. "Do you want fries with that?"
OH NO...dont want her ANYWHERE near food...or sharp utensils....or children...or pets...or motorized vehicles.....or heavy machinery....or crayons (dont ask)....or alcohol....or firearms...etc...
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Old 05-02-2007, 11:33 AM   #8
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

Ok I gotta ask... Why not near crayons? LOL
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Old 05-02-2007, 11:47 AM   #9
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

Let me guess, blond
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Old 05-02-2007, 12:03 PM   #10
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Default Re: Training the Untrainable!!!

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Originally Posted by bcrabt View Post
Let me guess, blond
Give that man a cookie!!!!!!!!!!
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