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Old 06-22-2007, 10:20 AM   #1
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Default Will Steelers go 16-0?

at first i thought this was pretty stupid but then i did start laughing. nothing overly creative or original but it has its moments for a slow reading day:

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/trib.../s_513792.html

Quote:

By Joe Starkey
TRIBUNE-REVIEW
Friday, June 22, 2007

It's always too early to look ahead to Steelers season. So let's.
Keep in mind that the regular season can't possibly be as calamitous as the offseason. Can it?

Sept. 9, at Browns: The Steelers dedicate game to ex-teammate Richard Seigler and win on his favorite play -- the hooker-and-lateral. Steelers 38, Browns 35.

Sept. 16, vs. Bills: Deeply disturbed by an e-mail from former line coach Larry Zierlein, Bills commit 40 penalties. Steelers 21, Bills 3.



Sept. 23, vs. 49ers: Disgruntled tailback Kevan Barlow rips the Steelers, 49ers, Jets, Seigler, Zierlein and, of course, Walt Harris. Steelers 75, 49ers 0.

Sept. 30, at Cardinals: Ben Roethlisberger throws a pick just so he can sprint to the Arizona sideline and deck Ken Whisenhunt. Cardinals 27, Steelers 20.

Oct. 7, vs. Seahawks: Five Seahawks touchdowns wiped out on offensive pass interference. Steelers 21, Seahawks 10. Steelers 21, Seahawks 10.

Oct. 21, at Broncos: Javon Walker catches seven TD passes, all on fade patterns against Ike Taylor. Broncos 49, Steelers 13.

Oct. 28, at Bengals: The suspension-ravaged Bengals field five players. Marvin Lewis blames Cincinnati police. Carson Palmer doubles as a defensive tackle, dominates Alan Faneca and takes several shots at Roethlisberger's knees. Steelers 75, Bengals 3.

Nov. 5, vs. Ravens: The Steelers come out flying on Dr. Richard Rydze Bobblehead Night. Rydze, a former team internist, is honored at halftime for the wonderful work he did with the area's growth hormone-deficient elderly. Steelers 100, Ravens 0.

Nov. 11 vs. Browns: The Steelers announce a groundbreaking contract with Troy Polamalu. It's worth nothing over 15 years. "Money, like Gatorade, is evil," Polamalu says, before picking off 10 Brady Quinn passes. Steelers 100, Browns 0.

Nov. 18, at Jets: Roethlisberger throws a TD to each of the 11 tight ends on roster. Steelers 77, Jets 6.

Nov. 26, vs. Dolphins: Faneca allows Joey Porter several free shots at Roethlisberger. Porter (0 tackles, 1 assist) whiffs every time but celebrates wildly. Steelers 100, Dolphins 0.

Dec. 2, vs. Bengals: Fresh off his latest suspension, Chris Henry rejoins the Bengals fitted with a mouthpiece that doubles as a Breathalyzer. He catches five TD passes -- all on fade patterns against Taylor -- then blows a 0.98. Bengals forfeit. Lewis blames Cincinnati police. Steelers 2, Bengals 0.

Dec. 9, at Patriots: Lawrence Timmons records his first NFL tackle. Steelers 100, Patriots 0.

Dec. 16, vs. Jaguars: CBS commentator Bill Cowher rips the Steelers for being "too conservative" and wonders why Ricardo Colclough isn't returning punts. Jaguars 3, Steelers 2.

Dec. 20, at Rams: The Steelers lose when special teams coach Bob Ligashesky, recalling his Pitt days, orders a "swinging gate" during a PAT. A befuddled Jeff Reed kicks wide. Rams 20, Steelers 19.

Dec. 30, at Ravens: Faneca walks off the field during potential game-winning drive. Hines Ward, in a show of solidarity, follows him. Both appear on coach Mike Tomlin's postgame version of "The News." Ravens 14, Steelers 10.

Next morning: "This season has been very tough on me," says Faneca, fighting back tears on his way to the bank. "They made me play without security."

Adds Ward, "I miss Joey."

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Old 06-22-2007, 10:24 AM   #2
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

Looks like Mr. Starkey went to the "Woody Paige School of Homer Sports Journalism." Paige predicts the Broncos will go 16-0 every year. Only difference is Starkey is obviously joking, but Paige is dead serious.
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Old 06-22-2007, 11:11 AM   #3
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

Well the scores have to be crazy. The Seahawks game will be a true score though. lol. If anyone here goes to the game and we win, I say we start a chant called just like forty.
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Old 06-22-2007, 11:25 AM   #4
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

we lose to the rams????damn....
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Old 06-22-2007, 11:35 AM   #5
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

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we lose to the rams????damn....
I say we win 12-14. the rams will be one of the wins.
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Old 06-22-2007, 12:29 PM   #6
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

Some of it is a little lame, but some of it is funny, and there are a few d y n o m i t e one's.
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Old 06-22-2007, 12:41 PM   #7
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

Based on that column it sounds like I am not the only one who is tired of the whining by Hines Ward about changing times.
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Old 06-22-2007, 12:44 PM   #8
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

Sounds like Ike needs some work on those fade routes.
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Old 06-22-2007, 12:57 PM   #9
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

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Sounds like Ike needs some work on those fade routes.
Or someone could start in his spot this year.
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Old 06-22-2007, 01:07 PM   #10
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Default Re: Will Steelers go 16-0?

"Dec. 16, vs. Jaguars: CBS commentator Bill Cowher rips the Steelers for being "too conservative" and wonders why Ricardo Colclough isn't returning punts. Jaguars 3, Steelers 2."

That was my favorite. Very funny.
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