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Old 08-28-2007, 04:46 PM   #1
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Default New NFL Side Effects

After watching only a few pre-season games I have come to a break through on what causes individuals to be irritable, disgusted, easily aggravated, and just down right bunglish regardless of their team's outcome on Game Day.

There are two causes for such actions/reactions and although there are currently no remedies to the problem, finding the root cause is a huge accomplishment as we can now request funding for future research into rectifying the problems before they exist:

1 - Baffling Buck Syndrome: This condition will cause individuals to consistently recall useless random rants from the Fox announcer, making them useless for productivity at work the next day. It also causes one to constantly grand stand and attempt to prove that they have a far superior ethical standing than people around them.

2 - Madden Migraine: This condition is more synomous with NBC's Sunday Night Football. It usuallly deabilitates the person so bad that they can not remember specific plays and possibly the outcome of the night game. However, they can recall useless side rants heard from Madden from the night game. The random words usually involve quotes relating to Peyton, Favre, Vick, Carson Palmer, or some other poster child and doesn't matter if said person was even playing in the game. It is also quite possible that the inflicted individual will very well loose all sense of their whereabouts and driving is almost impossible.

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Old 08-28-2007, 05:22 PM   #2
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Old 08-28-2007, 06:13 PM   #3
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Default Re: New NFL Side Effects

Haha. Nice.

Don't forget Gumbelalysis

You become incapacitated for a short, sometimes long, period of time after bashing your skull off of a concrete wall when your team appears on one of the NFL Network's games.

No one knows for sure what drives a person to such a severe action, but some have been heard muttering "make the voice stop" as they
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