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Old 11-05-2007, 04:23 PM   #1
MACH1
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Smile Latest Headlines

AMERICAN HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing
millions in the seventh largest country in the
world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.
White minorities still trying to have English
recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens north-western United
States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual
marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will
take at least 10 more years before radioactivity
decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over
by Jamaica. No other country comes forward to help
the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now
be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton
has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in
2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to
$17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is
the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for
third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Florexico.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such
a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman
with her mouth shut.

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though
gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per litre and gas
stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays!

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates
their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet,
seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers,
screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers
must be registered by January 2030.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly
illegal political contributions to campaign
accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florexico voters still having trouble with voting
machines.
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Old 11-05-2007, 04:28 PM   #2
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Default Re: Latest Headlines

Quote:
Originally Posted by MACH1 View Post
AMERICAN HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
Addendum to the above: The Bengals still suck!
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Old 11-05-2007, 04:31 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fansince'76 View Post
Addendum to the above: And the Bengals still suck!
How could I forget that one.
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Old 11-05-2007, 04:35 PM   #4
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did Favre retire already?
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Old 11-05-2007, 04:55 PM   #5
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did Favre retire already?
He's still debating...will have answer before preseason is scheduled to start.
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Old 11-05-2007, 05:42 PM   #6
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The unfortunate consequence to this type of humor is that the intellectaully challenged non-hispanics among us will believe what they read.

My point, California was named by Mexicans many years ago. The derogatory term "Mexifornia" was introduced into pop-culture by those same intellectually challenged non-hispanics, who may possibly be afraid of a diverse population.

As an American of Mexican descent, it stings every time I see that word. Unfortunately our society is becoming desensitized by it's common use, and exposure. I ask for your understanding, and empathy for a fellow Steeler Fan and American, who has been the harsh victim of prejudiced thinking since childhood. I've been shot at and stabbed for being of Mexican descent, living in California. (I'm 7th Generation Californian) Many received the predictable consequences right back at them for attacking the wrong person!

Please, just think twice about posting racially insensitive ramblings. I've not seen any Racists on this site, and appreciate that very much! It's not about PC bullshit! It's about respect. I respect all my friends here on SF!

Thanks in advance for your understanding! This is a non-confrontive, thought provoking post.
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Old 11-05-2007, 06:20 PM   #7
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Quote:
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did Favre retire already?
Naw, his grandson is the packers back up, while he still starts
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Old 11-06-2007, 11:43 AM   #8
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Quote:
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such
a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman
with her mouth shut.
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Old 11-08-2007, 09:50 AM   #9
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The Baltimore Ravens are officially out of the NFL, and now have a "based on actual events" movie, called "The Longest Yard II".

Last edited by STEELtownHAVOX; 11-08-2007 at 10:03 AM.
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