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Old 04-01-2008, 11:22 PM   #1
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Default Belichick downplays Spygate episode while battling evil wheelchair-bound villain

BOSTON, MA ? Months after they were embroiled in a scandal when caught videotaping an opposing team?s signals, New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick insists that his team has moved on.

?Frankly, all this talk of ?Spygate? is getting a bit silly,? Belichick said while hanging from the landing skids of a helicopter in mid-flight, piloted by the henchmen of an international espionage ring. After lobbing an exploding cell phone into the helicopter and escaping with the aid of jet-propelled penny loafers, he continued:

?We?ve apologized for the incident ? it?s over and done with. I don?t understand why people want to make this more exciting than it really is.?

Later, Belichick took time off from making love to a gorgeous, East European blonde (who later attempted to poison him) to speak to the media and assure them that Spygate was not an elaborate, well-planned conspiracy.

?Are you kidding?? the Patriots coach scoffed. ?I can barely program my TiVO, or find the secret underground lair of an evil genius hell-bent on taking over the world. In closing I?d like to say that I wish the media would leave us alone ? there simply is no story here.

?Oh, and I?d also like to say,? Belichick added into his wristwatch. ?The brown wolf eats cheese under the silver bridge at midnight.?

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