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August 16th, 2014, 7:30pmET

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Old 09-03-2008, 02:43 PM   #1
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Default 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

10 New Rules fo 2008-2009 Season

1) Brady Quinn will be allowed to keep both hands on the centers butt...even while on the sideline.

2) The Patriots will be allowed 2 additional chances to look at instant replay...of their own tape...and two subsequent opportunities to deny that these tapes exist.

3) The Bengals will be allowed to check the GPS location of their WR's ankle bracelets to determine if they did in fact get both feet inbounds..this can be used in lieu of instant replay.

4) The Patriots defense will be allowed an additional "Ensure" time out. At this time the league may perform any random drug test they feel is necessary.

5) The Ravens will be spotted 6 points at the beginning of each game because...well...they live in Baltimore.

6) The Bengals may replace the term "sports manager" with "probation officer" in any dealings with media or management.

7) The Bengals suck...thats all. Its just a rule.

8) The Browns will be allowed an additional 10 minutes at halftime until the stadium is able to widen the tunnel leading to the field. This time must be spent "buttering" up Romeo Crennel in so that he canmake it to the locker room.

9) The Ravens will be allowed to stay in opponants cities for a yet to be determined time..because...yep...they live in Baltimore.

10) The Steelers players and stadium may file tax-exempt, since the Steelers are Gods team.
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Old 09-03-2008, 03:45 PM   #2
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

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Old 09-03-2008, 04:28 PM   #3
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

Nice
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Old 09-03-2008, 04:29 PM   #4
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season



I think you forgot one

11) If John Kuhn is on your team the opposite team loses instantly. No need to embarrass every team in the league trying to stop the mighty Kuhn
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Old 09-06-2008, 05:50 AM   #5
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

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I think you forgot one

11) If John Kuhn is on your team the opposite team loses instantly. No need to embarrass every team in the league trying to stop the mighty Kuhn
The Kuhn rule....WOW!!! What an oversight...I apologize!!!
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Old 09-06-2008, 06:49 AM   #6
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

I wonder if we could also add that the Bengals & Browns, by virtue of being pseudo professional football teams, are AUTOMATICALLY ranked in the top 10 for the High School football teams for the entire state of Ohio.....usually behind Massillon of course....
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Old 09-06-2008, 06:59 AM   #7
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

Good rules.
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Old 09-06-2008, 07:17 AM   #8
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

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I wonder if we could also add that the Bengals & Browns, by virtue of being pseudo professional football teams, are AUTOMATICALLY ranked in the top 10 for the High School football teams for the entire state of Ohio.....usually behind Massillon of course....
Hmmmmm....would we have to charge them as juveniles when they inevitably get incarcerated?
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Old 09-06-2008, 10:00 PM   #9
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Default Re: 10 New Rules for the 2008-2009 Season

And when in doubt this year, always refer to rule #7....because the Bungles suck on a gargantuan level only seen before by the likes of Godzilla and Mothra.
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