Why register with the Steelers Fever Forums?
 • Intelligent and friendly discussions.
 • It's free and it's quick. Always.
 • Enter events in the forums calendar.
 • Very user friendly software.
 • Exclusive contests and giveaways.

 Donate to Steelers Fever, Click here
 Our 2014 Goal: $450.00 - To Date: $450.00 (100.00%)
 Home | Forums | Editorials | Shop | Tickets | Downloads | Contact Pittsburgh Steelers Forum Feed Not Just Fans. Hardcore Fans.

Go Back   Steelers Fever Forums > Miscellaneous > Locker Room


Steelers Fever Fan Shop

Doc's Sports Get FREE NFL Picks and College Football picks as well as Football Lines like live NFL Lines and updated NFL Power Rankings all at Doc's Sports Service.

Steelers

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-15-2009, 02:14 PM   #1
lamberts-lost-tooth
Banned
 
lamberts-lost-tooth's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,829
Gender: Male
Member Number: 2363
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default New Pets

I have always wanted a dog.

Like any red blooded American of the male gender, I have always been a llittle jealous of my friends who own one. I mean, there is something special about going to a buddies house and having an animal the size of a small pony squeeze between you and your significant other.

Women dont get it. No...Wait...SOME women dont get it. There are actually some women who can understand that there is a unique chemical reaction between male genophomes and dog drool. I wont bore you other females who are reading this with all the scientific facts and made-up words that I could post to show how this chemical reaction works.

Just be confident that its a "guy thing". Which in "guy talk" means its one of those "things" we put quotation marks around instead of trying to explain it and ultimately making ourselves look stupid. Its like...Spam. Just deal with it, because if you probe too deeply ...you'll just cringe, make that face that you usually reserve for using the bathroom after us... and walk away.

So I wanted a dog and by some quirk of fate I approached my wife at the exact moment that all the planets were aligned and she agreed to go the shelter with me. This was HUGE for me. It was the equivelant of coming home two hours late, drunk, on our anniversary, and the wife being agreeable to romance.

Taking full advantage and feeling a little bullet-proof I walked into the shelter and looked over the lot of poor orphaned canines. Within about two minutes I had settled on any one of 17 dogs, and my wife was glancing at her watch. I am a very smart man. I know what watch-glancing means. Thinking quickly I suggested that she go to the other side of the shelter and busy herself with looking at the cats while i made my final choice as to which dog would be awarded the name of "Rambo" or "Vasectomy" or any assortment of other names that strike fear in men's hearts.

Finally, I settled on a half doberman...half rottweiller...half tasmanian devil with a perpetual snarl and just the right amount of dog drool. (Yes I know that makes one and a half dogs...but he was REALLY big).

I went looking for my wife, and found her looking lovingly at a pair of cats that had been raised together by a poor old lady who had to give them up because she went into the nursing home.

Thinking we are on the same page, I looked at the pair and said..."Hey they would make a great snack for Vasectomy". (Yeah, she wasnt amused either)

So to make a long story short.....er....shorter. We are now the proud owner of two cats, neither which are named Rambo or Vasectomy. I wasnt happy at first, but again, I am a smart guy and the wife cooks my food. So I just smile at the cats and remain silent, unless I want to make my own lunch for a month. I mean, have you ever actually LOOKED at what is in Spam.
lamberts-lost-tooth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 02:20 PM   #2
fansince'76
Living Legend
Supporter
 

Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 17,554
Member Number: 1984
Thanks: 231
Thanked 1,160 Times in 429 Posts
Default Re: New Pets

So did you wind up taking "Vasectomy" home too, or no?
fansince'76 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 02:25 PM   #3
lamberts-lost-tooth
Banned
 
lamberts-lost-tooth's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,829
Gender: Male
Member Number: 2363
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default Re: New Pets

Quote:
Originally Posted by fansince'76 View Post
So did you wind up taking "Vasectomy" home too, or no?
Refer to line one....I'm still in the "wanted" stage.
lamberts-lost-tooth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 03:05 PM   #4
MACH1
Quest For Seven
Supporter
 
MACH1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Potataho
Posts: 14,525
Member Number: 3236
Thanks: 1,900
Thanked 5,734 Times in 2,134 Posts
Default Re: New Pets

What you can do is just show up with a really cute puppy and tell your wife that it followed you home, can we keep it.

Nothing cuter than a little lab pup that eventually grows up into that big drooling dog.
__________________


ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
MACH1 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 03:05 PM   #5
Hammer Of The GODS
Starter
Supporter
 
Hammer Of The GODS's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: I LIVE IN REALITY
Posts: 551
Gender: Male
Member Number: 8148
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: New Pets

I feel for ya brother. I gave up my dog (Maximus) when my wife and I were married. I moved in with her because she owned her own house and I rented. Her house was a two bedroom "broom closet". In other words it was really small. No room for an 85 lb. Rott and Boxer mix. So I gave him to my friend who lived in the country. He is in a good home and he's happy. Meanwhile we have sinced moved to 3000 sq ft home with plenty of room for a dog. BUT we also have a new little Steeler fan brewing in the ol ladys belly, so the wife says I have to wait 2 more years to get a new best friend.

Nothing like coming home to your dog and have him dancing at your feet for just a scratch. He doesn't care where you been or who you were with. And if he smells another dog on you he just wags his tail faster because he's just happy as hell to see you. Try pullin that crap on your lady and you run the risk of being castrated!

Mans best friend indeed.


Excellent post by the way...........
__________________
Hammer Of The GODS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 03:17 PM   #6
KeiselPower99
Living Legend
 
KeiselPower99's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2008
Location: Parkersburg West Virginia
Posts: 3,583
Gender: Male
Member Number: 8552
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: New Pets

I always wanted a basset hound and found one at the local shleter during the summer. She is everything you could want in a hound. She sleeps all the time. I also have 3 cats that have the energy the dog is missing. I wouldnt trade any of em for anything.
__________________
]
KeiselPower99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 03:25 PM   #7
Steelcitygal87
Banned
 

Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Aliquippa, PA(Center Twp.)
Posts: 1,719
Gender: Female
Member Number: 10583
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: New Pets

Quote:
Originally Posted by KeiselPower99 View Post
I always wanted a basset hound and found one at the local shleter during the summer. She is everything you could want in a hound. She sleeps all the time. I also have 3 cats that have the energy the dog is missing. I wouldnt trade any of em for anything.
I love basset hounds, those and beagles are my favorites. I have one cat named Abby... light tan-colored, long haired. What are your cats names?
Steelcitygal87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 03:31 PM   #8
MasterOfPuppets
Living Legend
Supporter
 
MasterOfPuppets's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 14,244
Gender: Male
Member Number: 1990
Thanks: 908
Thanked 3,897 Times in 1,655 Posts
Default Re: New Pets

never again will i EVER live in the same house with a cat. people talk about how clean, and low maitenence cats are......BULLSH*T !!! keep telling youself that while your scooping that cat crap out of the litter box....the very same box that sits IN your house. there's nothing like finding cat hair all over your kitchen counters,and tables, because your cat decided he'd check to see if you left anything on them , right after he just got done taking a crap...not to mention it stands in its toilet, and i doubt they wash thier feet before they walk on the same counters you prepare your food. my personal favorite was stepping in cat hairball / puke.....
__________________
“If tyranny and oppression come to this land it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.” ― James Madison

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first." -Thomas Jefferson

"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers." - Thomas Jefferson

MasterOfPuppets is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 03:32 PM   #9
lamberts-lost-tooth
Banned
 
lamberts-lost-tooth's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,829
Gender: Male
Member Number: 2363
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default Re: New Pets

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelcitygal87 View Post
I love basset hounds, those and beagles are my favorites. I have one cat named Abby... light tan-colored, long haired. What are your cats names?


Lexus & Willow....(I am so close to losing my "Dude" license)
lamberts-lost-tooth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2009, 03:33 PM   #10
lamberts-lost-tooth
Banned
 
lamberts-lost-tooth's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,829
Gender: Male
Member Number: 2363
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default Re: New Pets

Quote:
Originally Posted by MasterOfPuppets View Post
never again will i EVER live in the same house with a cat. people talk about how clean, and low maitenence cats are......BULLSH*T !!! keep telling youself that while your scooping that cat crap out of the litter box....the very same box that sits IN your house. there's nothing like finding cat hair all over your kitchen counters,and tables, because your cat decided he'd check to see if you left anything on them , right after he just got done taking a crap...not to mention it stands in its toilet, and i doubt they wash thier feet before they walk on the same counters you prepare your food. my personal favorite was stepping in cat hairball / puke.....
lamberts-lost-tooth is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:26 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.0.8 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.
Navbar with Avatar by Motorradforum
no new posts