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Old 02-16-2009, 09:39 AM   #1
lamberts-lost-tooth
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Default Garage Sales

We had several days last week of 70+ weather.

For me that means getting out of the house, playing some golf, and washing the car...which of course is very taxing. You have to CONSTANTLY get out of your lawn chair and point out the spots your kids are missing.

For my wife this weather means one thing....Garage Sale.

Now dont get me wrong, I'm very happy to collect money from someone who thinks my unopened chia pet (Birthday 2002) is worth something. I also have to admit to a certain sense of achievement in being the one who helps the poor soul end their quest for a hat with clapping hands (Christmas '99). And who knew the failed experiment of trying to discount sell two cats named Lexus & Willow (Winter '09) wasnt condusive to marital bliss?

What I do have a problem with is the manner is which we do Garage Sales. You see, I have two basic rules when it comes to Garage Sales. They are for 1) Anything that you havnt used in a year...and 2) Anything your kids have now forgot they gave you as a gift.

My wife as a much more scientific manner in determining what needs to go. She calls it "MY STUFF"...and by "my stuff"...I mean MY STUFF!!!

I think my first day in Heaven , when all things are revealed....I will ask the 2 burning questions that all men have longed to know since Eve batted those eyelashes at Adam and said "I didnt have time to cook today, just have an apple to tie you over until I change my fig leaf and you can drive us to Olive Garden".

I am going to ask "Why do men have nipples?" Then the more important question of: "Are women illogical or are men stupid?" I am seriously hoping the answer doesnt cause me to spend all eternity with an inferiority complex.

Seriously, I dont get it. How can the same woman who thinks my Rod Woodson jersey is "worn out and nasty".....grab a knobless crockpot with no lid, out of hands like I was about to drop a baby in a wood chipper?

Did I say I had two rules? Lets make that three. #3) any pot that has not been used since the Reagan administration AND does not hold the ashes of a family member...is fair game for the yard sale treasure seekers.

I quess as men, we have to pick our battles. I can be the "bigger" person...the "adult" and let her decide what she wants to get rid off. Sure a mans house is his castle, but a Wife makes it a home.

Oh...and rule #4 is What they dont know wont hurt them.

I will continue to enjoy wearing my steathily retrieved Woodson Jersey...sitting on the lawn chair..telling my kids they missed a spot on my car.
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:36 PM   #2
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Default Re: Garage Sales

i feel your pain! i usually have to hide "MY STUFF" when she says i think i am gonna have a garage sale! But to help you with you nipple question um read this book it has some intersting questions and answers!

http://www.bikemag.com/news/massmedia/113005_nipple/
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Old 02-16-2009, 01:56 PM   #3
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Default Re: Garage Sales

I have a garage sale every summer to get rid of things I thought I needed (which I really didn't) that I bought from other garage sales. :

I work for an estate liquidator in my spare time and have been in that business for the last 10 years or so and believe me - I've seen it all!
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Old 02-17-2009, 02:54 PM   #4
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Default Re: Garage Sales

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamberts-lost-tooth View Post
We had several days last week of 70+ weather.

For me that means getting out of the house, playing some golf, and washing the car...which of course is very taxing. You have to CONSTANTLY get out of your lawn chair and point out the spots your kids are missing.

For my wife this weather means one thing....Garage Sale.

Now dont get me wrong, I'm very happy to collect money from someone who thinks my unopened chia pet (Birthday 2002) is worth something. I also have to admit to a certain sense of achievement in being the one who helps the poor soul end their quest for a hat with clapping hands (Christmas '99). And who knew the failed experiment of trying to discount sell two cats named Lexus & Willow (Winter '09) wasnt condusive to marital bliss?

What I do have a problem with is the manner is which we do Garage Sales. You see, I have two basic rules when it comes to Garage Sales. They are for 1) Anything that you havnt used in a year...and 2) Anything your kids have now forgot they gave you as a gift.

My wife as a much more scientific manner in determining what needs to go. She calls it "MY STUFF"...and by "my stuff"...I mean MY STUFF!!!

I think my first day in Heaven , when all things are revealed....I will ask the 2 burning questions that all men have longed to know since Eve batted those eyelashes at Adam and said "I didnt have time to cook today, just have an apple to tie you over until I change my fig leaf and you can drive us to Olive Garden".

I am going to ask "Why do men have nipples?" Then the more important question of: "Are women illogical or are men stupid?" I am seriously hoping the answer doesnt cause me to spend all eternity with an inferiority complex.

Seriously, I dont get it. How can the same woman who thinks my Rod Woodson jersey is "worn out and nasty".....grab a knobless crockpot with no lid, out of hands like I was about to drop a baby in a wood chipper?

Did I say I had two rules? Lets make that three. #3) any pot that has not been used since the Reagan administration AND does not hold the ashes of a family member...is fair game for the yard sale treasure seekers.

I quess as men, we have to pick our battles. I can be the "bigger" person...the "adult" and let her decide what she wants to get rid off. Sure a mans house is his castle, but a Wife makes it a home.

Oh...and rule #4 is What they dont know wont hurt them.

I will continue to enjoy wearing my steathily retrieved Woodson Jersey...sitting on the lawn chair..telling my kids they missed a spot on my car.
And 3) All those "treasures" you have accumulated over the years from feverishly rummaging around at other peoples yard/garage sales. Their trash, which became your treasure, is now your trash. And so the cycle continues.
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Old 02-17-2009, 05:50 PM   #5
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Default Re: Garage Sales

Maybe men have nipples because they would just look so bizarre without them! (Can anyone do a photoshop of that?) But then again, they serve no function-a nipple-less man is only considered bizarre because we are used to seeing nipples on men!
I can't wait to get a house & have a huge yard sale full of stuff that has cost a fortune to keep in storage so that I can get a fraction of what I paid to store the junk, just because I didn't want to throw it away! And with that money I'll be looking for some good deals for stuff for the house, probably at garage sales!
HTG, I wish you lived in my area, I'd be begging you to find me some old style Danish furniture, I love that stuff.....
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Old 02-17-2009, 08:28 PM   #6
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Default Re: Garage Sales

Sometimes you can find some quality useless crap at a yard sale. And within 2 years it becomes someone elses quality useless junk they bought at a yard sale.
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