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Old 04-15-2009, 06:01 PM   #1
lamberts-lost-tooth
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Default Ode to Tim Lumber

I won’t call you stupid.

I will call you a ignoramus and an imbecile,a medulla oblangatally-challenged Sleestak
I will call you a grunting beetle-brained parasite, a single-cell drooling evolutionary throwback

I will point out that Baltimore is a tent city full of broke homeless homely bag ladies and your trying to bilk it.
I will tell you that if the world is a barnyard, Steeler Fans are a stately Clydesdale grazing in a pasture, and you are a gibbering farmhand trying to milk it


I wont call you Fat

I will call you an elephantine, oleaginous, dugongesque, willing to give ugly women blubber rides.
I'll call you a vast savannah of pustulent Rabelaisian dimple-bacon, and carefully note the effect you have on the tides


I wont call you ugly

I will call you a Karloffian vision of semi-bovine Cro-Magnon industrial smelting-accident frypan-to-the-face-osity
I will tell you that you are the love-child of a wildebeest with eczema and a zombie with brain oozing viscosity

I would say that you would look better if you put a paper bag over your head, then filled the bag with rocks and threw it off a cliff
I might question what wart-crusted egg of the nether dimensions could possibly have hatched such a terrifying physical representation of all that is foul and rotten with the universe as yourself



I may call you creepy or call you scum
Call you the universe’s debilitating weeping sore, lifes bleeding gum
I may call you an ulcer, a burrowing tick
on the ankle of civilization, eating 'til sick.
I may call you a particularly nauseating box
of a lukewarm Mucas-filled case of cow-pox
I may tell you that people would preferably drill
a hole in their own skulls than to read your dull schpeel
Your incoherent, semi-literate blog
is a bilious maggot-dribble open wound on a hog

(Pull out the dictionary now...put away any hopes of being a writer...and bring that apple for the teacher like I told you)

Now on the count of three...go away and dont come back....ready?
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:09 PM   #2
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

I think he is too busy working in the yard.

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Old 04-15-2009, 06:26 PM   #3
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

Quote:
Originally Posted by Preacher View Post
I think he is too busy working in the yard.

I think we now know why Mama came back home.

YEAH BABY!!!!.......
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:35 PM   #4
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

Quote:
Originally Posted by Preacher View Post
I think he is too busy working in the yard.

Pleeease. That dude has forgotten more about football in the last ten minutes than Tim Lumber will ever know.
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:01 PM   #5
tony hipchest
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

that dude has shit more footballs than slim q. cumber will ever know.
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:33 PM   #6
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

Timwit, you've been owned.


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Old 04-15-2009, 08:30 PM   #7
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

Now he is heading off for lunch.

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Old 04-15-2009, 09:08 PM   #8
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

Quote:
Originally Posted by lamberts-lost-tooth View Post
I won’t call you stupid.

I will call you a ignoramus and an imbecile,a medulla oblangatally-challenged Sleestak
I will call you a grunting beetle-brained parasite, a single-cell drooling evolutionary throwback

I will point out that Baltimore is a tent city full of broke homeless homely bag ladies and your trying to bilk it.
I will tell you that if the world is a barnyard, Steeler Fans are a stately Clydesdale grazing in a pasture, and you are a gibbering farmhand trying to milk it


I wont call you Fat

I will call you an elephantine, oleaginous, dugongesque, willing to give ugly women blubber rides.
I'll call you a vast savannah of pustulent Rabelaisian dimple-bacon, and carefully note the effect you have on the tides


I wont call you ugly

I will call you a Karloffian vision of semi-bovine Cro-Magnon industrial smelting-accident frypan-to-the-face-osity
I will tell you that you are the love-child of a wildebeest with eczema and a zombie with brain oozing viscosity

I would say that you would look better if you put a paper bag over your head, then filled the bag with rocks and threw it off a cliff
I might question what wart-crusted egg of the nether dimensions could possibly have hatched such a terrifying physical representation of all that is foul and rotten with the universe as yourself



I may call you creepy or call you scum
Call you the universe’s debilitating weeping sore, lifes bleeding gum
I may call you an ulcer, a burrowing tick
on the ankle of civilization, eating 'til sick.
I may call you a particularly nauseating box
of a lukewarm Mucas-filled case of cow-pox
I may tell you that people would preferably drill
a hole in their own skulls than to read your dull schpeel
Your incoherent, semi-literate blog
is a bilious maggot-dribble open wound on a hog

(Pull out the dictionary now...put away any hopes of being a writer...and bring that apple for the teacher like I told you)

Now on the count of three...go away and dont come back....ready?


That there is funny, I don't care who you are. Even Tim Dumber.
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Old 04-16-2009, 05:26 AM   #9
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stlrs4Life View Post
That there is funny, I don't care who you are. Even Tim Dumber.
Nah, Timmy doesn't understand that we are laughing AT him not WITH him.
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Old 04-16-2009, 06:34 AM   #10
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Default Re: Ode to Tim Lumber

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzz05 View Post
Nah, Timmy doesn't understand that we are laughing AT him not WITH him.
I just think we don't get TIIMMMHAAA!!!! this is really what he's saying

1. He's just a wittle guy

2. He can't keep a woman

3. He beats his dog

4. Not only is living in a "trailor home" cool, it can elevate you to, ultimate trailor, with a 12x12 deck crowning you the trialor park king.!!!!!!!!

5.. Crack is bad...........real bad

6. Retards can be useful for releasing frustration (sorry bout that one)

7. Nothing is out of bounds when poo is in the sentence.

8. !!!!!!!!!!!<------ this is really the only puncuation mark that matters......

9. His dog is as likely to fly away and rotate its head in 360degrees, as it is to bark at you.

10. We now have a new disrespect for the word Lumber, this can never be fixed....
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