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Old 07-05-2009, 12:11 AM   #1
I-Want-Troy's-Hair
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Default Questions that haunt you

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT YOU!

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or
shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above? (I did)

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
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Old 07-05-2009, 08:20 AM   #2
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Default Re: Questions that haunt you

Quote:
Originally Posted by I-Want-Troy's-Hair View Post
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
This was a hysterical list but that one, good sir, cost you a flat screen monitor and a new ergonomically correct keyboard - where do I send the bill?

Coffee ended up on the monitor, atop the desk (all the papers atop the desk), and my keyboard!
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Old 07-06-2009, 12:30 AM   #3
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Default Re: Questions that haunt you

Quote:
Originally Posted by stlrtruck View Post
This was a hysterical list but that one, good sir, cost you a flat screen monitor and a new ergonomically correct keyboard - where do I send the bill?

Coffee ended up on the monitor, atop the desk (all the papers atop the desk), and my keyboard!
that will teach you to go into the "fun house" with a mouth full of food or/or drink
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Old 07-06-2009, 07:29 AM   #4
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Default Re: Questions that haunt you

Quote:
Originally Posted by I-Want-Troy's-Hair View Post
that will teach you to go into the "fun house" with a mouth full of food or/or drink
especially if it's coming from you!!!
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Old 07-14-2009, 05:01 AM   #5
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Default Re: Questions that haunt you

I just know seen this that is funny.
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Old 07-14-2009, 06:12 AM   #6
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Default Re: Questions that haunt you

i always liked the classic -- why do hot dogs come in packages of 10 and hot dog buns come in packages of 8?

then i learned the answer...

because 2 out of every 10 people don't like buns with their hotdogs. one of life's mysteries revealed. haha!
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Old 07-15-2009, 12:35 PM   #7
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Default Re: Questions that haunt you

nice list.
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