Why Your Team Sucks: Pittsburgh Steelers

[Dionysus]

http://deadspin.com/5354828/why-your...burgh-steelers

Did a search and didn't see this come up. Pretty funny stuff.

[steelpride12]

I know and after all of that we still are faithful to our team, yes the most faithful and hearted fans! We have 6 super bowl rings we never complain about and can still whoop any teams ass anyday. Im pretty content with that :)

[tony hipchest]

take it to the blast furnace, dianaross.

[fansince'76]

Originally Posted by tony hipchest

take it to the blast furnace, dianaross.

Yep, moved it. They're coming out of the woodwork.

[steelpride12]

Originally Posted by fansince'76

Yep, moved it. They're coming out of the woodwork.

I know gotta love the beginning of the season mad rush to tell us Steeler fans our team sucks, but after the season ends and we pry up another trophy and ring they are truly quiet during the offseason surprise surprise!

[TheWarDen86]

I thought it was kinda funny myself.

I say to them, "Keep crying. I'll mix my kool-aid with your tears." YUMMAAAY!

[steelax04]

I checked out some of the others and I thought they were kinda funny too.

[Hot Stuff Nick Sterno]

Winners tell jokes; losers say, "Shut up and deal."

[TheWarDen86]

This one's about the Brownies:

Mangini? Really? It's as if Browns ownership is deliberately trying to turn off Cleveland fans. It's not enough that Cleveland had Belichick before he became arguably the greatest head coach in NFL history. No, now they have to hire all of his shitty underlings, thus repeating the shitty first Belichick era over and over again. Because what better way to win the hearts of a city than by making coaching hires that constantly remind citizens of the darkest moment in their team's history. A flawless plan.

[RodWoodsonwasprettycool]

The Browns piece was actually really well written and the first part part sums up how I feel about the current "Browns" team, the funniest part is the guy auctually likes the Browns as his AFC team (he's a Vikings fan)

1. Those aren't really the Browns. I know they kept the records. And the team name. And the uniforms. I know the current assemblage of players known as the Cleveland Browns are supposed to be just like the real thing. But I'm sorry. They aren't. Ever since the Browns returned to the league in '99, I've always felt like I was watching the football equivalent of a new stepmother, or a turtle that was purchased to secretly replace the one accidentally killed by a parent. Everyone affiliated with the New Browns may as well have buttons sewn into their eyes. They are profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering impostors. IMPOSTORE!!!

Before they left for Baltimore, the Browns had a distinctive football identity. I know this because the Browns were my favorite AFC team when I was a kid for reasons that escape me (I think Hanford Dixon and Frank Minnifield rocking orange shoes had something to do with it). And they're the team I will probably try rooting for when the Vikings decide to leave Minnesota two years from now. Then I'll give up after a year of that and become just a general NFL fan, which will be for the best.

Anyway, I digress. The reason I used to love those old Browns teams was because they never made anything look easy. Bernie Kosar threw sideways. Earnest Byner had to plow through six defenders just to get a lousy four-yard gain. They relied on trick plays more than pretty much any other team in the NFL (a trait Bill Cowher brought with him to Pittsburgh once he became a coach). Every time the Browns scored 30 points, it felt like a miracle. They felt like the kind of team maybe I could play for one day. That's a stupid concept, but it's the kind of thing you imagine when you're young and retarded. They were a proud team defensively. And if you ever beat them, they'd at least make you hurt the next day for it.

Those are the Cleveland Browns I remember from when I was a kid, and they have absolutely nothing to do with the supposed Browns you see before you today. The Browns of today have no identity. The two times they've had winning records since they've returned to the NFL were both freakish, inexplicable anomalies. There's something off about this franchise now. Like they crawled out of the Pet Semetary. Like the players have had their bodies snatched, and if you cut them open, you'd find aliens underneath. Aliens who are really, really, really profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering bad at playing football. Like watching George Clooney's wife return from the dead in "Solaris". No, wait. Scratch that. It's like watching "Solaris". Very slow and painful.

Face it, Browns fans. Deep in your heart, this doesn't really feel like your team. The team you really want – the one with the great defensive tradition and wonderful front office stability; the team that is now Pittsburgh's true archrival – that team is in Baltimore now, and there's no hope of getting it back. That's the team you SHOULD have. That's the team you feel you truly deserve, and you know it. That Super Bowl title should be yours. Stabby Ray Lewis should be yours. Joe Flacco should be yours. You don't deserve this Cleveland Stepmoms franchise, this Bizarro bunch of Browns birthed into the world by that scumbag Carmen Policy and run into the ground by everyone who's taken the wheel since. It's the oddest situation in sports. You have your team, but you don't really have them. The NFL let you keep the team's colors, but didn't let you keep the team's soul. And that's the cruelest part of Art Modell's legacy. profanityfilterprofanityfilterprofanityfilterprofa nityfiltering prick.

If I hadn't had known this was a piece slamming the Browns I would have thought this was written at a Browns fan site.