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|09-14-2009, 11:23 AM||#1|
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charleston, SC via New Brighton, PA
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*Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, “Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.” - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
*I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: “No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.” - Eleanor Roosevelt
*Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain
*By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates
*I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
*My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
*I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
*My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgol
*Money can’t buy you happiness… but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan
*What’s the use of happiness? It can’t buy you money. - Henny Young
*Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was shut up. - Joe Namath
*Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith
*I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap. - Bob Hope
*We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers
*Don’t worry about avoiding temptation… as you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill
*By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal
"Good men drink good beer!" Hunter S. Thompson
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