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Old 09-19-2009, 10:38 PM   #1
tony hipchest
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Default Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

as has been proven on this board many times, is there any question that lady pittsburgh sports fans dont rock the hardest?

http://www.wqed.org/mag/columns/pitt...s-football.php

Quote:

by Virginia Montanez

Tweens are back in school gazing lovingly at the Twilight posters they've hung in their lockers. 'Burghers are thrilled to finally pull out their sweaters and feel a bit of cool, crisp wind on their faces. Suburban housewives are secretly reading Twilight while their tweens are in school.

But most important, above all else, October means we're immersed as a city in meaningful games of Steelers football. STEELERS FOOTBALL!

Living in Pittsburgh, you fall into one of two categories:

Group 1: You worship at the altar of the Steelers and are therefore embraced in the loving, protective arms of all of Pittsburgh sports fans who will thump you on the back as if they've known you all their lives.

Group 2: You don't really care about the Steelers and are therefore shunned and ridiculed and often have the phrase "May God have mercy on your soul" directed sadly at you.

I belong to Group 1 and have since my childhood. Maybe you're in Group 2 and would like to at least pretend sometimes that you belong in Group 1. There are some things to keep in mind:

1. Regardless of any previous praise and adoration received for a good performance, a poorly performing quarterback should expect, at the very least, to wake to a lawn full of angrily discarded trash.

2. Jeff "Skippy Skeeve" Reed jokes should always be kept loaded in your joke cannon.

Putting aside for a moment his incredibly accurate monster thighs, Jeff "Skippy Skeeve" Reed is without a doubt the class clown of the entire Steelers organization - apart from Steely McBeam, that is.

He of the bleached-blond, stuck-his-tongue-in-a-light-socket hair. He of the South Side nightclub shenanigans that I once personally witnessed. He with the citation for kicking the crap out of a harmless Sheetz paper-towel dispenser. So many jokes. Pick a few and fire at will.

3. Santonio Holmes is a football deity with lots of human vices.

Yes, he's the Super Bowl MVP who caught a pass that Superman himself might have bobbled and dropped, but, uh, Google him, OK? Then take your pick. That's all I have to say about that.

4. Mike Tomlin or Troy Polamalu might be Jesus.

They can do no wrong. You don't talk bad about them. Ever. Lest you be smote with locusts or frogs or a losing season.

5. We're lucky Ben didn't die.

There has never been a brighter, larger spotlight shined on Pittsburgh driving than the one that trained its eye on us after that fateful day when Benjamin Roethlisberger, riding his motorcycle without a helmet, fell victim to the infamous Pittsburgh Left.

Can you imagine if Ben had died? Not only would a group of Pittsburgh men have descended on the Vatican armed with a thick binder containing a paper titled "The Case for the Canonization of Benjamin Roethlisberger as a Saint in the Roman Catholic Church," complete with a listing of his miracles, the greatest of which would be a six-page tear-stained essay on "The Immaculate Redemption Tackle of 2006"; not only all of that, but worst of all, The Pittsburgh Left would have been outlawed as well. Banned. MADNESS!

6. Bill Cowher who?

Oh, Bill. My teenage crush. My adulthood idol. In the span of three football seasons, he has gone from a Pittsburgh sports hero to that guy who frantically and maniacally cranked the siren for the Carolina Hurricanes during their playoff series against the Pittsburgh Penguins this year.

If I knew where his lawn in North Carolina is, I'd throw trash on it.

May God have mercy on his soul.
good stuff.
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Old 09-19-2009, 10:54 PM   #2
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

I still can't get that image of Cowher and that damn siren out of my head. And I agree with number four, one of them just might be Jesus!

I think that's the same writer of the Burgh Blog. She's pretty funny but can be rough on Ben sometimes. She should have also added that October in the Burgh means the Pens are playing. Can't wait until we get both football and hockey going!
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Old 09-19-2009, 11:28 PM   #3
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

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I still can't get that image of Cowher and that damn siren out of my head. And I agree with number four, one of them just might be Jesus!

I think that's the same writer of the Burgh Blog. She's pretty funny but can be rough on Ben sometimes. She should have also added that October in the Burgh means the Pens are playing. Can't wait until we get both football and hockey going!
i think so. if she refers to ben as "the duke of fug" and hacks on m. hossa relentlessly then its the same blogger.
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Old 09-19-2009, 11:31 PM   #4
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

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I still can't get that image of Cowher and that damn siren out of my head.


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Old 09-19-2009, 11:43 PM   #5
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

^^^^^thats really like looking back at a picture of a beloved relative laying in a casket at their funeral. not only is it kinda gross, but it also hurts.
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Old 09-20-2009, 06:25 AM   #6
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

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Oh my god that is funny as hell I have not seen that yet.
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Old 09-20-2009, 07:01 AM   #7
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

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LMAO!!!

Whelp - we all know where cranking that siren for the Canes fans looking like a cracked up mad scientist got him and that team. Ever hear of karma, Bill?

That is some funny stuff, hipcheese!
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Old 09-20-2009, 08:26 AM   #8
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

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i think so. if she refers to ben as "the duke of fug" and hacks on m. hossa relentlessly then its the same blogger.
http://news.spreadit.org/virginia-mo...pittgirl-blog/

Looks like it is PittGirl

Thanks for finding that, I loved that blog and was disappointed when it ended.
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Old 09-21-2009, 12:18 AM   #9
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Default Re: Ahhh. October in the 'Burgh.

I'm trying, but I still can't get myself to laugh at that picture. Coach does look like a doof though, so maybe someday soon.

Borski, her site is back up. She's been blogging for a couple of months now, and looks to be back for good.
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