Just in time for the holidays

[I-Want-Troy's-Hair]

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
Nuts

1 GALLON OF WHISKEY

First: sample whiskey to check for quality

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat

Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer

Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt…….or something

Who cares????? Check the whiskey again.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window.

Check the whiskey again.

Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway???