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|11-12-2009, 11:17 PM||#1|
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Riverside, CA -originally Steubenville OH
Member Number: 2698
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Just in time for the holidays
1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 GALLON OF WHISKEY
First: sample whiskey to check for quality
Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again
Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer
Break two eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt…….or something
Who cares????? Check the whiskey again.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed. Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway???
"Until one has loved an animal a part of one's soul remains unawakened." Anatole France
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