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Team President
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: People's Republic of North Carolina
Posts: 2,478
Member Number: 10927
Thanks: 13
Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
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Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog
chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
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"We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress & the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution, but overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution." Abraham Lincoln
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Assistant Coach
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Memphis TN ~ birthplace of Rock and Roll
Posts: 1,192
Gender: Female
Member Number: 12283
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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sig by steelax04 |
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The Virginia Hillbilly
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Galax Va
Posts: 22,282
Gender: Male
Member Number: 3287
Thanks: 95
Thanked 245 Times in 159 Posts
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That is funny as hell.
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Living Legend
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ulaanbaatar, MONGOLIA
Posts: 4,083
Gender: Male
Member Number: 2401
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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Assistant Coach
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,311
Gender: Male
Member Number: 15774
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
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That is pretty good haha.
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