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Old 02-16-2006, 08:52 PM   #1
klick81
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Default Steeler Jokes!

I found this collection of Steeler jokes in Pittsburghlive.com. I did a quick search but couldn't find it here, so i'm posting it up to provide some laughs for fellow Steeler fans. Feel free to add your own. Enjoy!

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/trib...kearchive.html

STEELERS JOKE ARCHIVE
There was a little boy whose parents were getting a divorce. He had to testify in court and while he was on the stand, the judge asked him who he wanted to live with.
The little boy answered, "I don't know." The judge was confused and asked, "Well, what about your dad?" The little boy said, "No, he beats me."

The judge then said, "Well how about your mother?" "No, she beats me too," replies the little boy.

The judge is confused and looks at the boy and again he asks, "So, who do you want to live with?"

The little boy looks the judge in the eye and says, "I want to live with the Browns because they don't beat anyone."

- Submitted by Mindy Watson from Ohio, Brian Ackerman from Cincinnati, and other Steel Addicts



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Football practice was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours for the Browns. While on his way to the locker room, one of the players happened to look down and noticed a suspicious-looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

The head coach immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis,the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.

- Submitted by Dwight Heminger



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A guy from Nebraska, a guy from Cleveland, and a guy from Pittsburgh are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

"I will give you each one wish. That's three wishes total," says the Genie.

The guy from Nebraska says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Nebraska." With a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - the land in Nebraska was forever made fertile for farming.

The guy from Cleveland was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall built around Ohio, so that no Steeler fans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye - 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around Ohio.

The Steeler fan says, "I'm curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out."

The Steeler fan says, "Fill it up with water."

Submitted by Troy Skillen



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The teacher was talking to Billy in class one Monday and asked him, "What's your favorite football team, Billy?"

Billy replied that he really loves the Pittsburgh Steelers. "Why do you like the Steelers so much?" the teacher asked. Billy told her it was because his mom loves them, and his dad says he bleeds black and gold, so it made him a Steeler fan too.

The teacher then asked Billy, "If your mom and dad were both fools what would that make you?"

Billy calmly said, "Well, that would make me a Titans fan!"

Submitted by Glen Gray from Nashville, TN



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The Steelers had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to Coach Cowher and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, Cowher shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."

"Forget the bonus," the turkey said. "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"



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Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in North Park when one is suddenly attacked by a rabid rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick and shoves it under the dogs collar, twisting it to save his friend.
A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident. "Penguin fan saves friend from vicious animal," he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not a Penguins fan," the little hero replied.

"Sorry, since we are in Pittsburgh I just assumed you were," said the reporter.

"Steelers fan rescues friend from horrific attack," he continued writing in his notebook.

"I'm not a Steelers fan either," the boy said.

"Oh! I assumed everyone in Pittsburgh was either for the Penguins or the Steelers. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked.

"I'm a Browns fan," the child replied.

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little jerk from Ohio kills beloved family pet!"

Submitted by Laura from Ohio



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A Bengals fan walks into a sports bar with his dog. The bartender says, "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The Bengals fan says "Please, he's a real avid Bengals fan and our TV just broke. He's never missed a game."

The bartender relents and the guy and his dog find a place right in front of the big screen. Halfway through the third quarter, the Bengals score a field goal. The dog goes crazy! He's chasing his tail, rolling over, doing flips and generally going wild. The bartender says, "Wow, what's he do if they score a touchdown?"
The Bengals fan replies, "How should I know? I've only had the dog for four years."

Submitted by James F. Lindgren
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Old 02-16-2006, 08:53 PM   #2
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A Steeler fan and a Titan fan were on death row awaiting their time to be executed. The warden asked them what they would like to be their last request. The Steeler fan said, "I want a 60 inch TV and a VCR so I can watch all of the Steelers' Super Bowl victories just one last time."

The warden asked the Titan fan what he would like for his last request. The Titan fan replied, "JUST TAKE ME NOW!"




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Four football fans go rock climbing one afternoon -- a Cowboys fan, a Packers fan, a Browns fan, and a Steelers fan. They had been arguing all the way up the mountain about who among them was the most "die-hard" fan.

Upon reaching the top of the mountain the Cowboys fan proclaimed to the other four, "This is for the Dallas Cowboys!" and promptly threw himself off the mountain as a form of sacrifice.

Not to be outdone by a Cowboys fan, the Packers fan jumped up and said, "This is for the Green Bay Packers!" and then threw himself off the mountain again as a form of sacrifice.

Refusing to be outdone by the Cowboy and Packer fans, the Steelers fan rose to his feet and yelled at the top of his lungs "This is for the Pittsburgh Steelers!" and without any hesitation, pushed the Cleveland Browns fan off the mountain.




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Bernie Kosar died and went to heaven. God said, "Bernie, I am a great football fan so I am giving you a great honor. You will have your own house here in heaven." God showed him a modest house with a small Browns flag in the window. Bernie was pleased until he looked up the hill and saw a massive black and gold mansion, with terrible towels in every window and a huge Steeler flag outside.

Bernie said, "God, I don't like to complain, but how come I have such a small house and Terry Bradshaw has such a big mansion?" God replied, "That is not Bradshaw's house! That's where I live."




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Albert Einstein is at a ****tail party, he runs into one man, and Albert asks "What is your IQ?" The man replies "190" Einstein says "Excellent... we can talk about quantum physics, aeronautical science and other topics."

They talk for a while and Einstein moves on. He comes to a young lady and says "Hello, what's your IQ?" The lady replies "140". Albert says "Great, we talk about politics, current events and other things". They talk for a while and Einstein moves onto another guy.

Albert says "Hi, what's your IQ?" The man stares back at him blankly and says "62" Einstein replies "How 'bout those Bengals?"

Submitted by Craig Myers, Columbus OH. (Formerly of Farmington, PA.)




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A man was in Tennessee and was talking with Jeff Fisher. He looks to his left and sees a red phone and asks what that is.

"That is the phone line to God, and it will cost you one thousand dollars."

The man thought to himself and realized that he could get all the picks for the games that week correct and decides to pay the money and call God.

That Sunday, he gets all the picks right and wins big money. The next week, he is in Minnesota and sees the same red phone and asks Denny Green if that is the phone line to God and Denny says it is and it will cost him one thousand dollars. Since he won so big last week, he pays the money again and wins tons of dough.

The next week he is in Pittsburgh and sees that same red phone. He asks Bill Cowher about it and Bill tells him it is the phone line to God and it will cost him 35 cents. The man, very upset, tells Bill that he just paid one thousand dollars in both Tennessee and Minnesota and wants to know why it is so cheap in Pittsburgh.

"Well, here in Pittsburgh," Bill explains, "it's a local call!"

Submitted by Robert Castille.




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There was a Steelers' fan sitting high in the stands behind the end zone. Looking around, he spotted an empty seat on the 50-yard line behind the Steelers' bench.

Thinking to himself "what a waste," he made his way towards it. When he arrived, he asked the folks on either side , "Is this seat taken?"

One person shrugged but the other replied, "This was my wife's seat. She was a Steeler's fan for fifty years but she's passed away."

The other man replied, "I'm so sorry to hear that. May I ask why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or a relative?"

The man replied, "They're all at the funeral."

Submitted by R.Hager, Pittsburgh PA.
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Old 02-16-2006, 09:11 PM   #3
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

LOL.....
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Old 02-17-2006, 12:35 AM   #4
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

I've heard most of those before but they still made me chuckle..
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Old 02-17-2006, 03:16 PM   #5
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

Thanks for the jokes it made my day today.
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Old 02-17-2006, 04:01 PM   #6
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

Hey klick- what's your address?. I'll send you a quarter so you can get a new joke book
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Old 02-17-2006, 08:42 PM   #7
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 70c10
Hey klick- what's your address?. I'll send you a quarter so you can get a new joke book
LOL...shut up. (I'll PM you my address)


Quote:
Originally Posted by pucho58
Thanks for the jokes it made my day today.
Well, somebody liked them! Haha...
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Old 02-17-2006, 09:38 PM   #8
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

Quote:
Originally Posted by melroseplace
I've heard most of those before but they still made me chuckle..

always good stuff
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Old 02-17-2006, 11:34 PM   #9
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

I liked the jokes!
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:13 PM   #10
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Default Re: Steeler Jokes!

i've heard them before,but they are always good.
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