Rivers "Predictions"

[boLT fan]

Saw this posted on another forum from someone reacting to all the people believing Philip will be a god. You never know, it could happen!

Actually, my predictions are less of a game-by-game analysis and more of an objective and unbiased look at the rational results one can expect from starting Philip Rivers.

Year 1 of the Rivers Era will result in a record of 11-5 and a loss in the playoffs.

Year 2 will result in a record of 12-4 and a loss in the AFC championship game.

Year 3 will result in a record of 15-1, a Chargers' Super Bowl ring and Rivers' first Pro Bowl.

Years 4 through 11 will result in Chargers' Super Bowl rings and Pro Bowls every year for Rivers, allowing Rivers to meet almost all of the incentive clauses in his contract. After year 11, Canton voters change the rules to make Rivers the first active player voted into the Hall of Fame.

Years 12 and 13 result in Chargers' Super Bowl rings and Pro Bowls every year for Rivers.

A career behind a shoddy OL catches up with Rivers in year 14, and for the first time in his life, Rivers misses a game. Fortunately, he returns for the playoffs, and the Chargers win the Super Bowl yet again.

Years 15 through 19 result in Chargers' Super Bowl rings and Pro Bowls every year for Rivers. After year 19, Rivers retires, and the nation goes into mourning.

Soon after retiring, Rivers runs for governor of California, and is elected in a landslide. A few years later, Rivers is elected President of the United States by the largest margin of victory in U.S. political history. After the election, the losing candidate remarks, "There was nothing we could do. We tried to dig up dirt on the guy, but there was nothing. Philip Rivers is the perfect human being."

Within one year of being elected President, peace on Earth is universally recognized. All national boundaries cease to exist, and Rivers is elected President of Earth. The NFL becomes the WFL, and many former NFL teams are eliminated, including all California teams other than the Chargers, who are chosen due to their amazing number of Super Bowls and renamed the California Chargers. Hercules Rivers, the seventh of Rivers' 24 children, leads the Calfornia Chargers to the first WFL championship.

World peace continues until Philip Rivers passes away at the age of 105. Fortunately, many of Rivers' children have since become political leaders, and world peace continues. Most notably, Rivers' ninth child, Amelia Rivers, becomes the first female president of the World, and her successor, Rivers' 16th child, Abraham Rivers, is regarded as a truly great compromiser for his ability to find a solution to the most troubling dispute of the time, whether Miller Lite tastes great or is less filling.

By the way, if you think that is something, you should see what Rivers' grandkids do...the aliens never knew what hit them!

This article is a joke, if you take it seriously you should be shot.

[tony hipchest]

we know thats a joke. as long as tom brady is around atleast. (except for against denver)

[BIGBENFASTWILLIE]

Rivers is gonna be great, he was picked ahead of BIG BEN!!!!! remember?????

[Suitanim]

At my old board, the Rivers vs. Ben vs. Eli subject was literally beaten to death for months. We also prognosticated on some other QB's futures. We came up with:

Ben- The pick the Steelers needed.
Eli- Good, not quite NFL ready, has the tools to succeed
Rivers- Bernie Kosar lite...probable NFL bust

The other predictions?

Carson Palmer needs a couple seasons, but will be a good QB
Kyle Boller will be a bust.

This may all seem to be a bit 20/20 in hindsight, but stlrs4life and ambridge can back me up on this.

Anyway, the point is, the concensus was and remains to this day that Rivers is a mediocre NFL QB at best. He has a slow and awkward release, is as immobile as Can't Graham, and can't make all the throws an NFL QB needs to make. If the Chargers run a pure West Coast Offense, where he's NEVER asked to throw the ball downfield, he may be adquate.

I say bust.

[boLT fan]

Thanks, Suit, for completely ignoring the point of this post to make it into your own person Rivers bashing thread. Just like you seem to do every time PR is mentioned.

I like how you know 100% certain he will be a bust before him ever having a good amount on consistant playing time. There is almost nothing on Rivers that can prove him to be a bust unless you think that playing bad in college makes you bad in the NFL (ala Ryan Leaf). I'm not saying he will be a god, but with any information we DO have it would suggest he wouldn't be a bust. Unless you want to make up random bullcrap to make your bust theory seem valid.

[Suitanim]

There is SOME good news...you can always draft yet ANOTHER QB next year, and he may not suck or be traded away. Maybe.

Enjoy your 8-8 (at best) 2006, Chargers fan.

[boLT fan]

[Suitanim]

The absolutely beautiful thing about all this is that a season of football will start soon, and the Chargers have thrown all their eggs into the Phillip Rivers basket, so there can be no more debate. He'll fail, or he won't, so it's a pretty black and white issue.

I'm just happy that the Steelers aren't managed by the Chargers FO...they might try to trade Ben for a 2nd and promote Rod Rutherford.

[tony hipchest]

just think, if the giants didnt screw up and went ahead and drafted ben as planned the chargers could had ben roethlisberger and shawn merriman for the price of eli manning. an offensive AND defensive rookie of the year back to back. i bet thats never been done before.

[Suitanim]

Well, the Giants never had Ben as their pick, nor did the Chargers, that was all team smoke screens...everybody got exactly what they wanted, and it's worked out okay for 2 of the 3 teams so far. However, one team is in for a rude awakening...it could be a new ride "The Akili Smith/Ryan Leaf Experience".

The funny thing is, I didn't make the dumb pick, and I didn't make the stupid trade of Drew Brees, but I'M the ******* for pointing it out.