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Old 03-28-2011, 04:25 PM   #41
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.... story of a troubled, conflicted soul named MACH. As you already know, MACH is a transsexual billy goat from Uranus. That is, surprisingly, not the strangest part of the story.

He foretold to me several months ago that I would have this encounter with you and that I was to tell you a cautionary tale of impending doom. An ending of which can be altered, if the "Creepy One" were warned and acted upon this troublesome omen. That "Creepy One"... is you, Wallace! You are mankind's only hope for salvation.

MACH told you of his... er.... "condition" as a Uranusian, tin can-eating, cud-chewing, billy goat trapped in a man's body with female genitalia and moobs. What he didn't tell you is how he became that way. He was abducted as a small kid () by....
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Old 03-28-2011, 07:29 PM   #42
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two Uranusians: Sam Cassell and Charlie Villanueva.



Mach withheld this information from mankind because of the...
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Old 03-28-2011, 07:53 PM   #43
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... terrifying resemblance they bear to Drac from "Enemy Mine".





He did not want to cause xenophobic panic in the streets and worldwide chaos and rioting from the fear of alien invasion if he were to reveal that they were Uranusians. These two both bore Uranusian names. Cassell was born Klurg ik-Bak Bak and Villanueva was known as Shirley Dingleflipper. The two horribly disfigured beings snatched MACH in the dead of night from his hay-filled pen as he was trying on frilly crotchless, edibles panties. They hurriedly whisked him away to...
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Old 03-29-2011, 12:38 AM   #44
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a secret location where they tried to discover who he had passed along the knowledge to. Mach is a transsexual billygoat from Uranus, but he looks human because of experimental cross breeding. And he developed human emotions. He came here to warn us of our impending doom. He created a list of candidates who might be able to stop the Uranusians. You're a chosen one, Wally, but there are others. With the help of a chef named Truck, Mach created a special meal called the Plate of Knowledge, which they served to the candidates. The chosen ones gained the knowledge. The others were driven mad." MoP paused to allow everything he had said to sink in. Wally took a glance over at B-Dub, who was ...
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Old 03-29-2011, 01:13 AM   #45
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sleeping. How could B Dub be sleeping at a time like this? Wally was baffled at what he was seeing from his old friend. In college, Wally and B Dub used to stay up all hours of the night drinking beer and discussing the meaning of life. They were about to find all the answers they ever searched for and B Dub was passed out. Wally thought weighed his options about what he should to do and he decided to...
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Old 03-29-2011, 01:27 AM   #46
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... go in the kitchen and grab another beer. He was getting too much blood in his alcohol system. While he was gone, MoP turned to Va and said, "We might be in trouble. The fate of the world is in the hands of ...
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:52 AM   #47
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the internet. Without the internet, the epic saga wouldn't exist. MoP says to VA, "If the internet goes down, so does our chances of us figuring this whole thing out". VA replies "Don't worry, I got this. I know who we need to talk to. The one person that can help us out in a time of need. The person that we can turn to when all else is failing. The name of this person is..."



I had to put a plug in about the downage of the message board for a bit
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Old 03-31-2011, 09:01 AM   #48
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Jack Lambert! He was pre-destined to lead us all, just as he lead the Steel Curtain Defense!" MoP warned Va, "Lambert lives out in the woods and to get him you'll need to....
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Old 03-31-2011, 10:23 AM   #49
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put on a skirt high heels and a bra. at first Va was uncomfortable with the idea but when he put the items on he felt at home. MOP couldnt seem to take his eyes off of Va and struggled to remember why they were here. "get yourself together man" Va shouted but his pleas landed on deaf ears. Mop just stood there with his mouth open and eyes wide. Va started to blush but quickly realize MOP was really staring at.....
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:05 AM   #50
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Wally. Wally had returned from the kitchen and had the box of the case he finished while he was in the kitchen fashioned into a some sort of tribal helmet. Wally began to speak in slurred words, he clearly had reached his limit of drinks and began to stumble about. After a few minutes of rambling, Wally was able to compose himself long enough to say "You guys won't believe what I found in B Dub's kitchen, it was....
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