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Old 05-17-2006, 10:25 PM   #1
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Default thought you'd enjoy these

this came from actual Federal employee reviews

Some of these are obviously mean, but most are hilariously funny.

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This ! employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

13. "He's been working with glue too much."

14. "He would argue with a signpost."

15. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

16. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

17. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

18. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

19. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

20. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

21. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

22. "He's got two brains ce! lls, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

23. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

24. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

25. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

26. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

27. "One neuron short of a synapse."

28. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

29. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

30. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead"
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Old 05-17-2006, 10:43 PM   #2
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Default Re: thought you'd enjoy these

I think I've worked with most of these people before...
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Old 05-17-2006, 11:21 PM   #3
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Default Re: thought you'd enjoy these

Funny stuff 3 to be 4!
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Old 05-18-2006, 03:49 AM   #4
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Default Re: thought you'd enjoy these

26. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

this is funny.
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Old 05-18-2006, 06:18 AM   #5
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Default Re: thought you'd enjoy these

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3 to be 4

20. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."


22. "He's got two brains ce! lls, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

23. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
too funny
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Old 05-18-2006, 11:26 AM   #6
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12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
like this one
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Old 05-18-2006, 04:30 PM   #7
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Default Re: thought you'd enjoy these

Its a shame but I know 252 people that can realte to this on a daily basis!

13. "He's been working with glue too much."
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