Ladies Only Thread

Lyn · 05-20-2006, 10:45 PM

I thought these were pretty funny (and oh sooo true)

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
******************************************

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you...
******************************************

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
************************************************** *

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.\
************************************************** ********

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
*************************************

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
**********************************************

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!

clevestinks · 05-21-2006, 06:44 AM

Lyn I had to read them, and they were funny. Props to you.

geran42o · 05-21-2006, 10:35 AM

Yeah never title some thing women only and expect us guys not to read it... But they were funny.

Stlrs4Life · 05-21-2006, 10:55 AM

Good ones Lyn!

melroseplace · 05-21-2006, 02:46 PM

haha those are great

thanks for sharing!

Prosdo · 05-21-2006, 02:51 PM

Funny stuff Lyn. Thanks for posting them.

SteelerzGirl · 05-21-2006, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geran42o

Yeah never title some thing women only and expect us guys not to read it... But they were funny.

Somehow when I saw the title of this thread, I just knew the boys couldn't stay out...(lol)! Nosey buggers.

Thanks for posting those, Lyn...tehehe.

steelersgirl86 · 05-22-2006, 06:49 AM

those r good...thanks

ARKIESTEEL · 05-22-2006, 07:37 AM

Where is that pats fan now I am very offended and dont know how I will ever get over it.

No just messing with you they all sounded pretty true to me

pitt · 05-22-2006, 10:54 AM

LMAO....Thanks. They were funny.

05-20-2006, 10:45 PM	#1
Lyn Banned Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 1,774 Member Number: 304 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Ladies Only Thread *I thought these were pretty funny (and oh sooo true)* One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb... **************************************** A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you... ************************************** "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. ************************************************ * He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.\ ************************************************ **** Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor ********************************* A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! ******************************************** Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals" Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!

05-21-2006, 06:44 AM	#2
clevestinks Living Legend Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 8,326 Member Number: 302 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread Lyn I had to read them, and they were funny. Props to you. __________________ [

05-21-2006, 10:35 AM	#3
geran42o Bench Warmer Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Ohio Posts: 393 Member Number: 48 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread Yeah never title some thing women only and expect us guys not to read it... But they were funny. __________________

05-21-2006, 10:55 AM	#4
Stlrs4Life Tailgate Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New Bedford, Pa Posts: 5,608 Gender: Male Member Number: 419 Thanks: 5 Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread Good ones Lyn!

05-21-2006, 02:46 PM	#5
melroseplace Team Captain Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 990 Member Number: 520 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread haha those are great thanks for sharing!

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05-21-2006, 02:51 PM	#6
Prosdo Banned Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Pittsburgh, PA Posts: 4,326 Gender: Female Member Number: 86 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread Funny stuff Lyn. Thanks for posting them.

05-22-2006, 06:49 AM	#8
steelersgirl86 Starter Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 470 Member Number: 331 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread those r good...thanks __________________

05-22-2006, 07:37 AM	#9
ARKIESTEEL Assistant Coach Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: FAYETTEVILLE AR Posts: 1,172 Gender: Male Member Number: 2268 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread Where is that pats fan now I am very offended and dont know how I will ever get over it. No just messing with you they all sounded pretty true to me __________________ BIG FAT ARKIESTEEL

05-22-2006, 10:54 AM	#10
pitt Starter Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 596 Member Number: 474 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	Re: Ladies Only Thread LMAO....Thanks. They were funny. __________________

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