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Old 12-13-2011, 05:37 PM   #1
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Default Welcome to the National Faiy League

In addition to "hitting somebody too hard", which draws a 15 yard penalty and automatic suspension, there are additional rules that must be followed, effective immediately.

New Rules:
- Looking at the Quarterback in an intimidating manner: This is unfair, and will result in a 5 yard penalty.

- Roughing the pretty boy QB: It is now illegal to get within the 3 ft 'personal bubble' of a quarterback who is at least a 7 on the 'hotness scale', which is determined by commissioner Adolf Goodell. Physical contact does not need to be initiated. If the defender is within 3 feet of the quarterback after a pass is thrown, it will result in a 15 yard penalty and automatic first down.

- Good TV ratings interference: If a pass longer than 30 yards is attempted, you may not jar the ball loose from the receiver, even if it is contact led by the shoulder. Big plays are good for NFL revenue, and we will not tolerate anyone trying to prevent this. Violation of this rule results in a first down at the spot of the foul and $15,000 fine.

- Offensive Pass Interference is now allowed: Because all the National Fairy League cares about is money in our pocket, we will also attempt to boost TV ratings and offensive output by making push-offs legal. Officials are also encouraged to call defensive pass interference on the defender who was pushed, just incase the receiver doesn't make the catch.
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:39 PM   #2
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"Roughing the Quarterback. #92, defense. Breathing near the Quarterback. 15 yard penalty, automatic, first down."
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:40 PM   #3
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U left out the no looking up the skirt rule:
Results in a 35 yard penalty......
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:41 PM   #4
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Well, its obvious, in addition to "fuzzy" rules...you can't hit someone too hard, too low, too high, in pockets, and on and on and on (oh yeah, and you get additional protection if you're named Rogers, Manning, or Brady).

As i said in another post just today.....we are heading to a point where, at least QB's, will be totally protected. They will not be allowed to be tackled or hit. There will be a "flag" or "touch" rule of some sort worked out. You watch. I believe its coming in our lifetime and we will live to see that.
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:43 PM   #5
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oops i forgot the R but im sure everyone knows what i meant
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:43 PM   #6
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At this rate there will be a qb bubble, or they will wear flags. I know it sounds like an exaggeration or joke but it's not. I was getting ready to get my Steelers tattoo next week, but now I may hold off. Not because of anything to do with the Steelers but because in a few years I might not even watch football or be interested in it.
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:43 PM   #7
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Default Re: Welcome to the National Faiy League

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fire Arians View Post
In addition to "hitting somebody too hard", which draws a 15 yard penalty and automatic suspension, there are additional rules that must be followed, effective immediately.

New Rules:
- Looking at the Quarterback in an intimidating manner: This is unfair, and will result in a 5 yard penalty.

- Roughing the pretty boy QB: It is now illegal to get within the 3 ft 'personal bubble' of a quarterback who is at least a 7 on the 'hotness scale', which is determined by commissioner Adolf Goodell. Physical contact does not need to be initiated. If the defender is within 3 feet of the quarterback after a pass is thrown, it will result in a 15 yard penalty and automatic first down.

- Good TV ratings interference: If a pass longer than 30 yards is attempted, you may not jar the ball loose from the receiver, even if it is contact led by the shoulder. Big plays are good for NFL revenue, and we will not tolerate anyone trying to prevent this. Violation of this rule results in a first down at the spot of the foul and $15,000 fine.

- Offensive Pass Interference is now allowed: Because all the National Fairy League cares about is money in our pocket, we will also attempt to boost TV ratings and offensive output by making push-offs legal. Officials are also encouraged to call defensive pass interference on the defender who was pushed, just incase the receiver doesn't make the catch.
Oh and also...
Another new rule and this one isn't "pretend".
If you're a receiver...and you've been covered too good or almost touched....after the incomplete pass, start jumping up and down and pointing at the defender like crazy.
The flag will then be thrown. Because the spineless refs can't make a decision on their own anymore and are clearly puppets trying to kiss a** to the league office.
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:45 PM   #8
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INTIMIDATION WILL NO LONGER BE TOLERATED



If so, it will result in a forfeit......
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:48 PM   #9
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"Unsportsmanlike conduct, #92, defense. Pulling 2 flags at once. 15 yard penalty and half a distance to the goal. First down."
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:49 PM   #10
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I just watched Tomlin's response.....

If he feels Harrison needs to change the way he plays the game, then why should we give a shit? A coach sticking up for his player would mean more then a bunch of e-mails to some one who doesn't give a rats ass.
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