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Old 07-13-2006, 11:39 AM   #1
bcolton82
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Default This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

To my fellow Steelers faithful,
My name is Brandon and I live in good ol State College, PA. We have the greatest college football stadium in the world, & the legendary Biggie Smalls shouted us out on the hit "All About the Benjamins". I'm practically next door neighbors with Joe Pa, who hired my grandfather (& dhosmer's grandfather) during his stint as athletic director in the early 1970's. I also went to high school with Larry (Sorry, I slapped your daughter) Johnson, who I still can't believe had the season he did in 2005. I just had to throw that in there. Anyway, I'm a lifelong Steelers fan, other than when I was like 6 & the Eagles had Cunningham. My cousin (dhosmer on this forum) has a home video of me when I was 8 saying Bubby Brister is my favorite player. I still can't believe I ever uttered those horrible words. I was in 8th grade when Neil O'Donnell threw the Super Bowl, and I subsequently threw trash at the TV. There was also a vicious hate letter written, but ultimately, never sent. I figured that would make me look like Ray Finkle. LACES OUT!

OK, so I'm gonna end this introduction on a story about Jack Ham, a Steelers Legend!

One drunken night, last May, during Penn State graduation weekend, me & a few buddies were heading back from the bars to an after hours spot. During the short walk, somehow Jack Ham's name got thrown into the mix. This kid Eric* (names changed to conceal true identity as they could be reading), immediately jumps into the conversation with "MY MOM ****ED JACK HAM!" We all bust up laughing, like "Is this kid serious?" So we start raggin on him. This other kid John* jumps in, "Well that's something to really be proud of huh?" Eric* retorts "Don't be jealous cuz my mom ****ed a hall of famer!" Then he shouts really loudly "STEELERS BABY!" At this time, I throw out "I don't know if I'd want to know about my mother's sexual conquests". He responds "B, I know you're jealous. You LUUUUUUUVVVV Jack Ham." Random jokes start coming out of nowhere about Jack's HAM. So Finally Eric* goes "My mom ****ed Jack Ham. Who's your mom ****?...huh, huh...YOU'RE DAD???" At this point, we all lost it. John* goes "Yeah, that's right, it's pretty normal for someones Mom and Dad to sleep together". Anyway, the next day, Eric was having a hog roast as a graduation party, at none other than his moms house. A few of us thought it would be absolutely hilarious if we all showed up at different times rocking a throwback Jack Ham jersey, and playing it off like we had no idea we all were gonna wear one. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough time to locate some Jack Ham jerseys. Otherwise, that would have been soooo funny!
This story has made its rounds, and now, I can honestly say I've seen a random chick walk up to him in a bar & ask him if his mom is still messing with Jack Ham. At least he finds the humor in it too.
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Old 07-13-2006, 11:56 AM   #2
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

Welcome to the site....

Sorry...I was hoping this was a real Jack Ham story....
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Old 07-13-2006, 12:37 PM   #3
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by bcolton82
To my fellow Steelers faithful,
My name is Brandon and I live in good ol State College, PA. We have the greatest college football stadium in the world, & the legendary Biggie Smalls shouted us out on the hit "All About the Benjamins". I'm practically next door neighbors with Joe Pa, who hired my grandfather (& dhosmer's grandfather) during his stint as athletic director in the early 1970's. I also went to high school with Larry (Sorry, I slapped your daughter) Johnson, who I still can't believe had the season he did in 2005. I just had to throw that in there. Anyway, I'm a lifelong Steelers fan, other than when I was like 6 & the Eagles had Cunningham. My cousin (dhosmer on this forum) has a home video of me when I was 8 saying Bubby Brister is my favorite player. I still can't believe I ever uttered those horrible words. I was in 8th grade when Neil O'Donnell threw the Super Bowl, and I subsequently threw trash at the TV. There was also a vicious hate letter written, but ultimately, never sent. I figured that would make me look like Ray Finkle. LACES OUT!

OK, so I'm gonna end this introduction on a story about Jack Ham, a Steelers Legend!

One drunken night, last May, during Penn State graduation weekend, me & a few buddies were heading back from the bars to an after hours spot. During the short walk, somehow Jack Ham's name got thrown into the mix. This kid Eric* (names changed to conceal true identity as they could be reading), immediately jumps into the conversation with "MY MOM ****ED JACK HAM!" We all bust up laughing, like "Is this kid serious?" So we start raggin on him. This other kid John* jumps in , "Well that's something to really be proud of huh?" Eric* retorts "Don't be jealous cuz my mom ****ed a hall of famer!" Then he shouts really loudly "STEELERS BABY!" At this time, I throw out "I don't know if I'd want to know about my mother's sexual conquests". He responds "B, I know you're jealous. You LUUUUUUUVVVV Jack Ham." Random jokes start coming out of nowhere about Jack's HAM. So Finally Eric* goes "My mom ****ed Jack Ham. Who's your mom ****?...huh, huh...YOU'RE DAD???" At this point, we all lost it. John* goes "Yeah, that's right, it's pretty normal for someones Mom and Dad to sleep together". Anyway, the next day , Eric was having a hog roast as a graduation party, at none other than his moms house. A few of us thought it would be absolutely hilarious if we all showed up at different times rocking a throwback Jack Ham jersey, and playing it off like we had no idea we all were gonna wear one. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough time to locate some Jack Ham jerseys. Otherwise, that would have been soooo funny!
This story has made its rounds, and now, I can honestly say I've seen a random chick walk up to him in a bar & ask him if his mom is still messing with Jack Ham. At least he finds the humor in it too.

DAMN!! I may give you rep points just for having the absolutely LONGEST intro I have ever seen...welcome aboard (and thank you for not mentioning band camp)
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Old 07-13-2006, 01:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

Welcome to the site
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Old 07-13-2006, 01:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

Welcome and enjoy!
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Old 07-13-2006, 01:16 PM   #6
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

are you sure you're not "eric's mother?"

welcome to sf
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Old 07-13-2006, 06:48 PM   #7
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

Hey, welcome aboard the Steelers Fever express. Let me know if u need help with anytihng around here, and I'm surfe just about averyone else is too.
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Old 07-14-2006, 03:24 AM   #8
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackNGold203
Welcome to the site....

Sorry...I was hoping this was a real Jack Ham story....

LOL....it is a "real Jack Ham story"
He just had nothing to do with it!!!!
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Old 07-14-2006, 02:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

is your buddy sure his daddy is his daddy and not jack ham...
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Old 07-14-2006, 09:51 PM   #10
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Default Re: This is kinda long, but the Jack Ham story is incredible!!!

Welcome to the the best Steelers site on the net! Hope you enjoy it here man. If you need anythin or have any questions feel free to hit me up. That was quite an intro. It sounds like you were all shitfaced when that went down. It almost sounds like you were shitfaced when you typed it here. Either way, convaluted and bizarre it's funny and I'm sure you'll gain plenty of Steelers stories in time. Peace.

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