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Old 07-17-2006, 08:56 PM   #1
Lyn
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Default Jokes:)

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage,
and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got
married, Did you?"

Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"


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A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did
all of my intelligence come from?"
The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your
mother, cause I still have mine"

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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the
divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a
week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now
and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself,"


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I
don't like the looks of your wife at all. "Me neither doc," said the
husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a
curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact
words that were used to put the curse on you.
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man
and wife."


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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder

1.. All the DNA is the same.

2. There are no dental records.
__________________________________________________ ____

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how
long it'll take to fly fromSan Franciscoto New York City?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute.."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan
Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."


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This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a
blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity
gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into
those pants?"
The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could
start by buying me a drink."


---------------------------------- -----------------------------------

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."


---------------------------------------------------------------------

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a
display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty
pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought
my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an
all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in
one.
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