Why register with the Steelers Fever Forums?
 • Intelligent and friendly discussions.
 • It's free and it's quick. Always.
 • Enter events in the forums calendar.
 • Very user friendly software.
 • Exclusive contests and giveaways.

 Donate to Steelers Fever, Click here
 Our 2014 Goal: $450.00 - To Date: $450.00 (100.00%)
 Home | Forums | Editorials | Shop | Tickets | Downloads | Contact Pittsburgh Steelers Forum Feed Not Just Fans. Hardcore Fans.

Go Back   Steelers Fever Forums > Miscellaneous > Fun House


Steelers Fever Fan Shop

Doc's Sports Get FREE NFL Picks and College Football picks as well as Football Lines like live NFL Lines and updated NFL Power Rankings all at Doc's Sports Service.

Steelers Fever Presents...

Steelers Panthers

GAMEDAY
Sunday, September 21, 8:30 PM
NBC
Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-21-2006, 10:05 AM   #1
HometownGal
Living Legend
 
HometownGal's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 21,479
Gender: Female
Member Number: 2413
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default The Audit

Screw the IRS!


The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.

The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."

"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"

The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."

The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."

Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.

The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I' ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.

Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.

" Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."

The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.

Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph 's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.

"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over an IRS official's desk and that you'd be happy about it."
__________________


The Anti-Wahoo
HometownGal is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2006, 10:13 AM   #2
floodcitygirl
Team Owner
 

Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 2,752
Member Number: 1784
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: The Audit

Good one!
floodcitygirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2006, 10:45 AM   #3
BlackNGold203
Team President
Supporter
 
BlackNGold203's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Butler, PA
Posts: 2,193
Gender: Male
Member Number: 1217
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: The Audit

Hun..you are on a roll today!!!

__________________
BlackNGold203 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2006, 11:14 AM   #4
SteelersfaninPhilly
Bench Warmer
 

Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Philly
Posts: 195
Gender: Male
Member Number: 496
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: The Audit

Thank you for the laugh
__________________
I'm blind, I'm deaf, I wanna be a ref.

SteelersfaninPhilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-21-2006, 05:57 PM   #5
SteelersMongol
Living Legend
Supporter
 
SteelersMongol's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Ulaanbaatar, MONGOLIA
Posts: 4,083
Gender: Male
Member Number: 2401
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: The Audit

Ha ha ha.
__________________
SteelersMongol is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:46 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging v3.0.8 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.
Navbar with Avatar by Motorradforum
no new posts